Wow.. Speechless

May 30, 2013
Otisha Germany
1313 Bonnieview Avenue
Lakewood, OH 44107
Dear Otisha:
We received your readmission packet to return to nursing. Based on your cumulative GPA and your request, you have been accepted for re-admission into level I of the Nursing program at Mount Vernon Nazarene University. Going forward, you will be held to the progression and completion policies of the graduating class of 2016. Please plan on attending the level I meeting during the fall semester to receive the Nursing Student Handbook for the graduating class of 2016 and any additional information regarding the nursing program and policies pertaining to your level.
This summer, contact your academic advisor for any necessary schedule changes.
The faculty and I look forward to working with you to help you obtain your goal of becoming a great nurse!

Thank you Lord for a second chance!


Today was a great day... will have to fill you in a bit later, not feeling so well. But my reading today in Judges was amazing. Such wicked judges but what an awesome God of deliverance. From Gideon to Jephthah, quite interesting? Thank you Lord for showing me that the only king I want is you :) I love you! Thank you for such a wonderful day.

Your daughter,

Good Morning World!

Good Morning Father!
    Thank you so much much for your grace and mercy! For waking me up once more to live a life of worship unto you! Hallelujah to your name! I am in an especially joyful mood this morning.... because after months, I am finally downloading one of my favorite songs! It's All About You by Lakewood Church! Yes Yes Yes!

My Reading Today
Genesis 24- 27

Genesis 24: Abraham was about to die, and requested of his right hand servant to go back to his homeland to find a wife for his son Isaac. So the servant goes and prays to the Lord for a very specific sign and the Lord responds by giving him that exact sign. And He finds Rebekah, who would be Isaac's cousin. She comes back with him and as they are riding towards Abraham's land, Rebekah asks the servant of whom the man is, and he states Isaac, His master. It's funny how she responds... instead of getting overly 'giddy' and flirtatious, she covers her face with her veil and waits for him to meet her. LADIES! LET THIS BE A REPRESENTATION TO US ALL!

Genesis 25:  Abraham dies and leaves everything to his son Isaac, and not Ishmael, nor the other sons he had from his second wife. Jacob and Esau are born from Isaac and Rebekah. Esau is a skillful hunter and Jacob was content among the tent, doing housework. Rebekah loved Jacob and Isaac loves Esau. Favoritism rose even them.

Genesis 26 + 27: Jacob, led by his mother, fooled Isaac and received Esau's blessing after taking his birthright.

Sounds like a bunch of deception to me! But we still live in that kind of world :) Lord forgive me for ever being a person who carries the trait of manipulation. But I still wonder was Jacob deceiving his father apart of your plan or did you just use it for your good?


     What a day! Truly, I know I serve an awesome God whose mercies are everlasting! Today was a harder day.... You ever feel like you are being pushed, perplexed, crushed on every side.... That's how I felt today. It felt as if the enemy knew what kind of praise Jesus Christ... My Father, Son and Holy Ghost (All in one), was going to receive today!

      O but the joy of knowing that it's only because of His MERCY! Hallelujah... It's only because of His mercy that I, that we, are not consumed. My mind was on the battlefield today.... and as soon as church was over, it felt as if the sun had come out again.

      Father, my prayer is that you have forgiven me, and that even the praise that I cried to the altar to give was pleasing to you! Your word says to not be ignorant of the devices of the enemy! I knew it was Him... but Father, my mind.... which satan seems to attack every time, needs you to continuously cover it. As Job didn't, I will never curse you, nor turn the other way.... but will always come to you... even if I'm battered and bruised for your word says that you will heal our wounds! In my imagination, I envision you lining us up and one by one applying your anointed oil! Have your way Jesus... For I know that satan isn't allowed to do anything to me, lest he inquire of you first. So, I am aware that this too, was just a test :) For your glory, I pray I passed!

In Jesus Name,
Subject to Testing


Romans 13 & 14

Romans 13:

  1. Submission to the Governing Authorities: For there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities  that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whomever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted and those who do something will bring judgement among themselves. For the one in authority is God's servant for your good.
  2. Love fulfills the Law- Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law....Love does no harm to a neighbor, therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
  3. The Day is near- The night is nearly over, the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of the light. 
Romans 14:
  1. The Weak and the Strong: Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters....Each of them should be fully convinced in theor own mind...... For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord and if we die, we die for the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that He might be the Lord of both the dead and the Living.... Instead make up your mind to not put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister..... Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.... So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God!


Matthew 14-16

Chapter 14:

  1. John the Baptist beheaded- When Jesus heard of this, that his cousin, but also God's anointed one, had been beheaded the word says that He withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.
  2. Jesus feeds the 5000! "We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish... Bring them here to me...They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketful's of broken pieces that were left over"- 14: 17, 20-21
  3. Jesus Walks on Water- "Lord if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water" Peter replied. "Come" Jesus said...- Amongst his obedience then fear which left him drowning, having to be picked up by Jesus... Peter was brave/courageous because he did step out on FAITH! Christ ends off my asking "Why did you doubt?"- Pt 2. Once they arrived on land at Gennesaret, people brought all their sick to him and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched were healed.- WHAT FAITH!
Chapter 15:
  1. That which defiles- "What goes into someones mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them...If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.. For out of the heart come evil thoughts-murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander..."
  2. The Faith of a Canaanite Woman- "Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters table... "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted"
  3. Jesus Feeds the 4000!- They all ate and were satisfied.... even seven basketful's remained.
Chapter 16:
  1. The demand for a sign- "A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah."
  2. The Yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees- "You of little Faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Don't you remember the five loaves for the five thousand and how many basketful's you gathered? Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketful's you gathered?"....Then they understood that he was not telling them to guard against the yeast of the bread but against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducee's.
  3. Peter declares that Jesus is the Messiah- "Who do people say the Son of Man is?".... People explained... "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God!"... "Blessed you are Simeon, son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church and the gates of Hades will not overcome it...Whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."
  4. Jesus Predicts His Death- Christ begins to tell the disciples of His soon coming Crucifixion and Peter rebukes Him... Christ in turn says "Get thee behind me satan. You are a stumbling block to me and do not have in mind the concerns of God but merely human concerns."



"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it."- Isaiah 30:15

Poor ol' Job!

Poor Job, constantly having to defend himself... making out to be some kind of heathen. What kind of friends does he have?

Job 11:
"Will no one rebuke you when you mock? ... Know this: God has even forgotten some of your sin.... Of you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then, free of fault, you will left up your face you will stand firm and without fear.... There is hope... But the eyes of the wicked will fail and escape will elude them; their hope will become a dying gasp."

Job 12:
"But I have a mind as well as you! I am not inferior to you. Who does not know all these things?... In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food? Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding? To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his.... To Him belong strength and insight; both deceived and deceiver are his... He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings utter darkness into the light..."

      Well, first to Job, I want to say 'Great Come-back'. There are two things that I want to speak!
     Unfortunately my first thought to the friends of Job was "Really... Is it that serious.".. But as I studied it a bit more, I related more to the friends than to Job. There are very few times when I am accused of something, or even spoken down to as Job was. I am usually the person doing the degrading. Unfortunately. There are times when people leave our long conversation feeling lower than they did when they came. They feel spoken down to. Condemned. And while that truly isn't my hearts desire, as Jobs friends failed to, also I fail often in taking time to empathize with people.
God's Judgement-
     I love Jobs last quote in Ch.12... " He (God) reveals the deep things of darkness and brings utter darkness into the light..." So it's not Tishs' position to make someone confess of their faults? Wow!

       I ask that you would forgive me for trying to play YOU. In my conversations proceeding what you have just taught me, please help me to enjoy empathizing/sympathizing with people. Uplifting and encouraging your creation. Considering them better than myself. I have failed and I repent. May you continuously refine my character through your Word! I love you and am thankful for All of the work you are doing in All of your children!

Your Child,
Convicted and Forgiven

What A Day!

Psalms 15-17****

Psalm 15: God honors those who keep an oath even when it hurts and does not change their mind...

Psalm 16: "You are my Lord, apart from you I have No good thing. I say of the holy people  who are in the land, They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.... Lord you alone are my portion and my cup, you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me.... You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 17: Keep me as the apple of your eye, hide me in the shadow of your wings, from the wicked who are out to destroy me, from my mortal enemies who sorround me.... As for me I will be vindicated and will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness.

     You have allowed my lines, my path, to lead in pleasurable places! And unto you I am eternally grateful! Salvation and the riches of your Joy :) Amen

Judges 1-6...

Wow :) What an amazing time in the Word of God today!
Judges 1- Judah attacks the Canaanites and Perizites, under God's blessings. Defeats and captures Adoni-Bezek or "Lord of Bezek" and cuts his fingers and toes off. They go on to attacking other countries and conquer them.
Judges 2- An angel of the Lord meets them in Bokim and reveals to them of their disobedience. That they have broken covenant with God.
" After the whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel. Then the Israelite's did evil in the eyes of the Lord and served the Baals (other gods). They forsook the Lord, the God of their ancestors who had brought them out of Egypt. They followed and worshiped various gods of the peoples around them.... In God's anger against them He gave them into the hands of raiders who plundered them.. whom they were no longer able to resist... They refused to give up their evil practices and stubborn ways"
Judges 3- The Lord began sending judges on behalf of the people--- In this order!
  1. Othniel- Son of Kenaz, Calabs younger brother, who saved them. The Spirit of the Lord came on him, so that he became Israels judge and went to war. The land had peace for 40 yrs.
  2. Ehud- After the enemy attacked the Israelites, the Lord sent Ehud, Son of Gera the Benjamite. Described as a Left handed man. Ehud made a double edged sword about a cubit long, wore it on his right thigh under his clothing. Went to King Eglon with a secret. "As the King rose from his seat, Ehud reached with his left hand, drew his sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the belly of the king. Even the handle sank in after the blade, and his bowels discharged. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it. That day Moab was made subject to Israel, and the land had peace for 80 years. 
  3. Shamgar-Son of Anath, struck down 600 Philistines with an oxgoad.
  4. Deborah- A prophet, wife of Lappidoth led Israel as Judge. She says to Barak, son of Abinoam, "The Lord, the God of Israel commands you : Go, take ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead them to Mount Tabor. I will lead Sisera, the commander of Jabins army, with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands." Barak, afraid of going alone said that he would not go without Deborah. Deborah agrees to go with him, but says that because of his fear, the honor will be given into the hands of a woman. Which indeed it was.  Sisera, king,, who now is fleeing on foot away from the battle runs to the tent of Jael, who is the wife of Heber the Kenite. He asks her for some water, she gives him milk. As he lies on the floor, covered in a blanket, he requests that she watch the tent opening for anyone who would be looking for him. "Jael, Hebers wife, picked up a peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground and he died.
  5. The Song of Deborah- "...when the people willingly offer themselves- praise the Lord... When you, Lord, went out from Seir, when you marched from the land of Edom, the earth shook, the heavens poured, the clouds poured down water. The mountains quaked  before the Lord, the One of Sinai, before the Lord, the God of Israel.... God chose new leaders, when war came to the city gates, but not a shield or spear was seen amount 40,000 in Israel.  My heart is with  Israels princes, with the willing volunteers among the people. Praise the Lord!... March on my Soul. Be strong!..."
  6. Gideon- Son of Joash, found threshing wheat in a winepress. Angel of the Lord appeared "The Lord is with you, mighty warrior" Gideon asks the Angel "But if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors spoke about?..." The angel says "Go in the strength you HAVE and save Israels out of Midians hand. Am I not sending you?" Gideons second excuse.. "My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family." Gideon asks for a sign, then He offers a sacrifice, in which the Lord sends a fire over the sacrifice, consuming the meat and unleavened bread. Gideon built an altar. The Lord tells him to tear down his fathers altar to Baal and the Asherah pole to the other gods and to build the proper kind of altar unto God.The people wake up the next morning to see what has happened, demands to Joash that Gideon should be killed and Joash says to them "If Baal really is a god, he can defend himself when someone breaks down his altar. The people gave Gideon the name Jerub-Baal meaning "Let Baal contend with him". The Lord tells Gideon to go to war but Gideon asks for another sign. 2 Fleece methods---- Dew only on the fleece and dry ground, then dry fleece and dew on the ground! The Lord does both!

Who would have thought that the book of Judges would be so empowering! Amen and thank you Lord for the people you called to intercede on behalf of your people! But thank you so much more for your final judge... Jesus Christ! To intercede on behalf of the entire world! 

Your Child-
A Gentile Saved by Grace

His Perfect Timing!

The Lord has this perfect sense of giving us what we need in His perfect timing! Wow.... I wish I could write this out the way I feel it :) But the synopsis of it all is this:
     While sitting in our Pentecostal service last night, praising my Savior the only way I know how, there was a repetitive word that came through. Selflessness. Selflessness.Selflessness. Then God said to me "Glorify Me and in due time I will exalt you".... Wow that hit me.
     For so long I have been crying out to Him declaring my tired state. And my complaint of failing and now having to stay in school for 7 years and etc. When all along I forgot to step back and recall all that the Lord has done. The lives He has given me to witness to. People who have rededicated there life.
    Last night I rededicated my life for the sole purpose of glorifying Him! Not for me. Not for nursing. Not for time. But His lengthening of years has given me the opportunity to be His vessel that offers salvation. It is the greatest call because it's focused solely on doing what we were ALL created to do. Before I was ever designated a career, before the foundation of the world, my elected call was to spread the gospel! Wow.... Father, Son and Holy Ghost I accept! And I love you and thank you for revealing truth!
    That message was for me :) But I pray that as you read this you may be encouraged to continuously wait upon the Lord in everything. And when it feels like you just cant worship, take your eyes off of self and circumstances, and hear what God is trying to say. That's what held me for so long. I wanted... but God needs! He's an awesome father :) And what more to offer than our reasonable service of worship!!!!

"Humble yourselves therefor under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time..."
- 1 Peter 5:6

Ok... So I Failed!

Time to accept that God you have chosen to a different route for me..... Not that I desire to repeat Health Assessment, but for you, I will do anything. Thank you for this 'right now peace'. May All that I say Glorify you in Heaven! I may have failed a class, but I have not failed you! I love you :)

Another Stranger...

      Another stranger has been brought home. Another John Doe. Another bed warmer. Another temporary feel good. Another act of sin.... God, why do I feel so hurt? Its her life.. but when I saw it growing up so often. God, will things ever change? Will you ever deliver her?

      But why does it hurt me? I'm not giving my body away. I'm not the one outwardly sinning against you, though I do have sin of my own. I think it hurts me so much, because its representation leaves me as a younger girl confused. Who am I in the eyes of men? What do they think when they stare at my body? Can I remain pure though it's not represented before me? 
      How can I sit and listen in the other room, knowing that your heart God is hurting? I hate it... I hate sin. I hate the lustfulness of it. I hate how it causes women to forget that their body is the Lords. I hate feeling like I am the offspring of nothing. I hate seeing the potential that God desires while also seeing the present state. I hate hating.

      Father, I know very clearly that you are keeping me. That you continue to protect me, and honor me, and graciously favor me as I glorify you. My prayer is for HER. That though she may feel she looks good on the outside, where man can only see, that she would consider her soul more worth living than any temporary feeling. As you continuously pursue her, may ONE day she find her beauty in you. May she consider her body, every part of it, a source of sacrifice and not a vessel of dishonor. God.... I know you are able to totally transform, shape and mold Her into All that you created her to be... In your timing. Please help me to remain patient. To continue to serve. To love without limits! In you I am able to feel these emotions. Forgive me for not always responding the way you desire :) I too constantly need your voice to speak louder than the voice of mine enemy. I love you Father! 

"Now unto Him who is able to keep you from falling, to present you blameless before the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ...To the only wise God our Savior  be Glory and Majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen"- Jude 1:24-25

9 Months of Gestational Pain!

Wow... I'm done! 9 months of intense academic boot-camp, comparable to a 9 month pregnancy term, for the Glory of God! Whoever said it would be easy lied to me.... It was the most challenging season of my life. But God you did it! You strengthened my brittle bones. You carried me. You stood with me in the fire... and I can do nothing but praise you! Hosanna :) Be glorified! 

Almost there....

It's been a good day! Thank you Jesus! I miss these days :)
Even so... It Is Well With My Soul! Lord, please continue to be the pilot, the ruler, the director of my Life! Every part I give to you :) Forever! It is well with my soul !

What a Year....

Wow.. I am actually sitting only a few hours away from finishing up my Spring semester... It's absolutely humbling to think about All the things you have done.

The hard times:
---Academics truly became my walk of faith. Even as I lie here reminiscing, I am in the midst of finals week. One remaining: The one that will cause me to go further in nursing or hold me back for another year. God... Am I able to say that it's terrifying. It's hard to be in this place.... but it has caused me to intentionally stop and keep my eyes on you.
---Relationships:  Father, you have given me the Best Friend in the entire world. You have blessed me with a sister, accountability partner, a confidante, and a person in whom I have been able to share this wonderful life with! But we have had some rough times this year... Character building times. You have taught us the value of communicating. The gift of honesty. You have taught me to listen and to be gentle. But Lord, I sense that there is another work at play. Sometimes when I am with Heather, there tends to be an aura of sadness, or hopelessness that overcomes me? And every time she asks me 'If I'm OK"... it only causes me to want to find something wrong? Does that make sense :) Can you help me understand why I do this Lord? Why my heart becomes downcast? I will yet praise you for remaining our center.
                             You have given me my sister back :) Though we don't talk everyday, the times that we do have been so good for my heart and I believe for hers. Thank you God for caring about my family. Thank you for not leaving us.
---Spiritual: Lord.. hmmm. I love you so much Lord, but I have failed to meet with you daily. I have settled with living off of previous mountain experiences. Jesus... I need you more than I need anything. You are the center of my joy and If I could just learn to walk in faith.. why can't I get it Lord? Bur I know that I Need to keep my eyes on you. Please give me the measure of faith today that you know I will need!

I want to repent:
       For selfishness
       For Lack of Faith
       For a Judgmental spirit
My hard times have been difficulty, but my Good Times:
---- Celebrated my 23rd birthday and my Best Friend threw me a beautiful gathering at Ruby Tuesdays
-----  You have given me my sister back :) Though we don't talk everyday, the times that we do have been so good for my heart and I believe for hers. Thank you God for caring about my family. Thank you for not leaving us.
---- Through your favor, I was able to purchase a car. White 2007 Ford Focus. I'm so undeserving, but I do accept!
----- My Uncle was released from prison... I have been able to fellowship with him! Thank you father!
----- Was accepted to work at UH this summer, as well as with the Outreach ministry with AFT
----- Got to attend Region 5 in Chicago and was able to bring Heather!
----- Mission trip to Florida
God there truly is so much! The good outweigh the struggles, but I know the latter must occur for maturity! I continuously accept, as long as you allow me to squeeze closer to you when I fear!

Thank you for keeping me from the hands of the enemy. For the things seen and unseen :) Thank you for loving me in spite of all the things confusing about me! For you know me better than I know myself! Hallelujah! My heart is encouraged :)

I'm not in control!~

I'm not in control! There are things that I cannot control.... Lord help me. I am struggling! Please continue to teach me to keep my eyes on you! This is your path and not my own.... FAITH FAITH FAITH! I can do all things through you who strengthens me!

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