-Expose to become clean!
-I have the power, through God, to share my testimony and see a generation saved. Would I keep it to myself for my own safety? To not be shunned? To keep up an image? Or can I trust God enough to shield me from satans attacks even when i'm afraid of the aftermath?

Play it safe or Be obedient?
How do I overcome? Blood of the lamb and word of their testimony!

Dish time Revelation!

Thank you Lord!

As I was standing at my sink washing my 3000 piled up dishes the Lord began to speak with me His truth! Yesterday I was blessed with the opportunity to attend a group called 'Alethia' at my church. During our women's retreat, a few days earlier, the Lord blessed me with the opportunity of meeting a girl named Emily who invited me! I'd thought, according to the description on the church's website that the age bracket was 18-25.... which left me 2 years over! But she said I could come anyhow, so I did.

It was so great! The message, led by the youth pastor was ok :) The young adult pastor filled in many of the awkward spaces. But none the less I was reminded in Ephesians 5 to not even allow 'sin' to be named amongst us saints! But afterwards many of the ladies approached me and we just talked about everything from the women's retreat, to coffee, to working out and etc! Invited each other on facebook and etc. Well this morning I awoke and had 15 messages which turned out to be a group chat for an event that I was invited to! Praise God :) Starting off with yoga, then breakfast. And while there's so many more details in between... I was blessed to be invited!

But as I stood at my sink scraping dish by dish my mind began to be filled with God's sweet voice. 'Tish, even though your personality yields more to one on one settings, your past life of same gender attraction and sexual sin, has left you with no other choice than to become one who surrounds herself with 2 or more.' And with that I was left feeling like my life just opened up a new door. I guess my mentality of intimate relationships never consisted of more than one... but the reality is that while there is a time and place for that, I should be surrounding myself with several women, in the same gathering, that know me intimately and who can speak into my life and vice versa. 

Isolation, unfortunately, has been my stumbling block. I think of a previous relationship where myself and the person I called friend would make every effort to find 'alone' space. This didn't turn out so well because it secluded everyone else from knowing us. We became a unit to ourselves. UNHEALTHY! Even now i've been struggling in my heart with a sweet friend who is just like me... more reserved, doesn't share everything with everyone! The blessing of our friendship is that she isn't a person who doesn't have other friends! She very much so does which means that here and now I have the opportunity to practice healthy relations and enjoy the presence of other sisters... which would take the unintentional pressure off of her to be my 'do everything with' friend! 

Those dishes became more clean with every stroke! And that's what I so look forward to with my own life! Deliverance in and through God's gift of the Body of Christ! I'm excited to journey with these women and what I'm really looking forward to is being real and vulnerable as the opportunity lends itself! 

Here goes something! 
Water turned off, drying towel in hand! 
 

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