:) What a DAY 3!

Yes... it's been quite a day! Lord, you showed up and made yourself very apparent! My reading today was wonderful, but what stuck out to me the most was our chapel speaker! This weeks topic is "PRAYER" :) How timely!
Faithful father you showed your MERCY and GRACE in an entirely new way!
    So, newest assignment! For my Intro to Spiritual Journey course, for one solid week, I can only pray for myself... This is going to be hard. It's 2:17 am here in America and I can't sleep! Shouldn't have taken the nap today! Well, at least now my iPod is up to date :) Maybe I should shut everything off.... OK!

See you tomorrow!

Day 2!

Today's reading was great!!!!

  • While God was speaking to Himself, represented by the term 'us', He stated "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:22)
    • Was this statement made in a voice of surprise or of disbelief? Is God ever surprised when we make mistakes? 
      • I would think not, seeing that He states that He knows our thoughts afar off!
      • It was this voice, that shares with the reader the first thought of placing plan 'B' in order... Plan of Redemption!
      • How did you feel God?
      • Were you heart broken?
      • Were you dissatisfied with all that you had just made? All the 'Good' things you'd created?
  • When God asked Adam where He was, He states that He was hiding because He was shameful of His nakedness.... Then begins the placement of Not Taking Responsibility
    • Adam stated- The woman you put with me- she gave me some fruit from the tree and I ate it
    • Eve stated- The serpent deceived me and I ate
    • Tish says... Where am I not taking responsibility in my life?
Gracious Father,
    I ask if there be any area of my life that I am hiding from you, I pray that your would reveal it to me that I may freely surrender it quickly. My desire is that you have ALL of me.... I know that I have a sinful nature due to the disobedience of Adam and Eve, but I also have a responsibility to daily repent of my any sin that I commit before you. Please help me, through your Holy Ghost, to rid myself of anything that is turned away from you. I honor and adore you more than this world! I choose LIFE in YOU!

One Year Journey! Day 1

~So often I hear that once finishing the journey of reading God's word fully through, you can always go back and find something new! That's my goal! Time to restart with Genesis! Lord, I pray for wisdom, discernment and discipline!~

Genesis 2:7... " The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into His nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being!

Genesis 1 & 2
- God is still breathing into us! (v.7)
- When Eve was made, after God made her from Adams rib, it was God that brought her to the man. What does that mean? We allow God to carry us to our husbands... by submitting to God's hands and voice and guidance! Not our emotions! (v.22)
Proverbs 1
-Solomon acquired a prudent and disciplined life! What does that look like? (v. 3)

Warfare Prayer


Heavenly Father, 
I bow in worship and praise before you. I plead the Blood of Jesus on my entire physical body, on my entire soul and on my entire spirit. I plead the Blood of Jesus against any demons that may attempt to come against me. I plead the Blood of Jesus against any humans that may try come against me.  I plead the Blood of Jesus against any natural accidents or catastrophe's that may come against me. I plead the Blood of Jesus against any diseases, illnesses or sicknesses that could possibly come against me.  Father, in the name of Jesus, I have full faith and belief that the Blood of Jesus will always protect me. Father, I surrender myself completely and unreservedly in every area of my life to You.  I gladly put myself into Your hands and I am more than willing to let You find a way to release Yourself through me. I take a stand against all the workings of satan that would hinder me in my prayer life. Satan, the name our Lord Jesus Christ, commands you to leave my presence with all your demons, I bring the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ between us and against you, and I address myself only to the True and Living God and refuse any involvement of satan in my prayer.
Father, the name of Jesus Christ, takes authority over every principality, every demonic spirit, and every spiritual wickedness in high places. The name of Jesus Christ has bound the spirit of fear, anxiety, depression, oppression, weariness, doubt, stress, bitterness, jealousy, unforgiveness, failure and poverty, and cast them out of my life, and the name of Jesus Christ  has loosed the fruits of the spirit and prosperity in my life.  Because the Blood of Jesus Christ covers me, satan has no power over my life, or anything that pertains to me.  Therefore in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, satan is rendered helpless, powerless, and ineffective against my life.  
Heavenly Father, I recognize that You are more than worthy to receive all glory and honor and praise.  I renew my allegiance and my vows to You and pray that the blessed Holy Spirit would enable me in this time of prayer. I am thankful that in Jesus, you have made me complete, and that You have offered Yourself to me to be my daily help and my strength. I am thankful that the victory the Lord Jesus Christ won for me on the Cross and in His resurrection has been given to me and that I am seated with the Lord Jesus Christ in the heavenlies.  I take my place with Him in the heavenlies and recognize by faith that all wicked spirits and satan himself are under my feet.  I declare, therefore, that satan and his wicked spirits are subject to me in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and I rejoice in Your mercy and goodness Lord.  
I am thankful for the whole Armor of God You have provided. I put on the whole Armor of God and live and pray in complete dependence upon You, blessed Holy Spirit. I put on the Girdle of Truth, the Breastplate of Righteousness, the Sandals of Peace and the Helmet of Salvation.  I lift up the Shield of Faith against all the fiery darts of the enemy; and I take in my hand the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, and I choose to use Your Word against all the forces of evil in my life.  
I am grateful, Heavenly Father, which the Lord Jesus Christ spoiled all principalities and powers and made a show of them openly and triumphed over them in Himself.  I claim all that victory for my life this day.  I reject all the insinuations, accusations, and the temptations of satan.  I affirm that the Word of God is true and I choose to live this day in the light of God's Word. I choose, Heavenly Father, to live in obedience to You and in fellowship with You.  Open my eyes and show me the areas of my life that do not please You, and then work in me to cleanse me from all ground that would give satan a foothold against me.  I do in every way stand into all that it means to be Your adopted child and I welcome all the ministry of the Holy Spirit in my life.

I am thankful, Heavenly Father, for the expression of Your will for my daily life as You have shown me in Your Word. I therefore, claim all the will of God in my life this day.  I am thankful that You have blessed me with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.  I am thankful that You have begotten me unto a living hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.  I am thankful that You have made provisions for me so today I can live filled with the fruits of the Spirit in my life.  I recognize that this is Your will for me and I therefore reject and resist all the endeavors of satan and his wicked spirits to rob me of the will of God.  I refuse to be fooled by my feelings and I hold up the Shield of Faith against all the accusations, distortion and insinuations that satan would put into my mind.  I claim the fullness of the will of God for my life and I walk in the authority given to me by Christ Jesus.

By faith and in dependence upon You, I put off the fleshly works of the old man and stand into all the victory of the crucifixion where the Lord Jesus Christ provided cleansing from the old nature.  I put on the new man and stand into all the victory of the resurrection and the provision He has made for me to live above sin.  Father I pray that you will dwell in my heart by faith; that you will keep me rooted and grounded in your love.  For Father in your love there is no fear; because your love is perfect and it casteth out fear. And I thank you Lord for not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.  
Heavenly Father, open my eyes each and every day that I might see how great You are and how complete Your provision is for me.   Father, please give me eyes to see and ears to hear that I can understand those things that you are showing and speaking to me, so that I may understand you more fully and do exactly what you want me to do.  Oh Father, when You said seek my face, my heart cried out to You, your face Lord will I seek. Father, hide not your face from me, put not thy servant away in anger, thou has been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation, but show me your face and lead me in the way that I should go so that I won't stray from the straight and narrow path that you have set before me. Oh Lord I ask that the heavens be opened and that I may see visions of God.

In every way I stand into the victory of the ascension and glorification of the Lord Jesus Christ, whereby all the principalities and powers were made subject to Him.  I claim my place in Christ this day, and I am victorious with Him over all the enemies of my soul.  Blessed Holy Spirit, I pray that You would fill me up to over flowing, break down every idol and cast out every foe. I pray that You will help me to walk in the Spirit this day, as well as every day.  I pray that You lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from every evil and demonic temptation and every snare of the enemy. I pray and believe that no weapon formed against me will prosper, and every tongue that riseth up against me shall be condemned.

In the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I completely surrender myself to You, Heavenly Father, as a living sacrifice.  I choose not to be conformed to this world, but choose to be transformed by the renewing of my mind, that I may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Father, I pray that You would show me Your will and enable me to walk in all the fullness of Your will for my life. I pray that Your power and Your anointing shall be upon me, and that when the enemy comes against me one way, the Holy Spirit will force him to flee from before me seven different ways.  I pray and believe that every trap the enemy sets for me will backfire on him, and work out for my good, which is for Your glory; for You said all things work together for the good, for those who love the Lord, who are called according to Your purpose.  Satan the blood of Jesus Christ is against you.

I am thankful, Heavenly Father, that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, to the casting down of imagination and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge God, and to bring my every thought captive into obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore, in my own life, the name of Jesus tear down every stronghold of satan and binds the enemy’s plans that have been formed against me and cast them out of my life.  Father in the name of Jesus, I bind every stronghold of satan against my mind, and I surrender my mind to You Lord, and I ask please let your mind be in me as it is in Christ Jesus.  I affirm, Heavenly Father, that You have not given me the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind. Father in the name of Jesus, I bind every stronghold of satan formed against my will; I surrender my will to You and choose to make the right decisions of faith for my life.  Father, in name Jesus I bind every stronghold of satan formed against my body; and I surrender my body to You recognizing that my body is the temple of the Almighty Living God and a dwelling place for His Holy Spirit and I will rejoice in knowing that the blood of Jesus Christ covers me.
Father, your Word says when a thief is found he MUST restore everything that he has taken sevenfold. The WORD of GOD declares that satan came to steal, kill and destroy, and the Holy Spirit has exposed everything that he has taken away. Therefore, according to God’s Holy Word, satan the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth commands you to RESTORE EVERYTHING you took away SEVENFOLD.  The name of Jesus Christ commands you take your hands off my finances, job, my home and my marriage right now in the name of Jesus.  Father, your word says that whatever we bind on earth is bound in heaven; whatever we loose on earth is loosed in heaven. Therefore, in the name of Jesus, I bind every stronghold of the enemy that have been holding back our financial blessings, and in the name of Jesus I loose prosperity in our life according to your riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Father, I pray and believe that You are blessing me and causing me to prosper in all I do, that You are enlarging my territories, and that Your hand is with me to keep me from evil, so that it would not cause me pain. Father, I speak to the seven Spirits who are before Your throne, to impart into my life blessings. I speak forth: The Spirit of the Lord, The Spirit of wisdom and understanding, The Spirit of counsel and might, The Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord.  Father we call forth our financial blessings right NOW in the name of Jesus, Oh Lord, we pray send NOW Your prosperity!  
Father, please allow the Holy Spirit rest upon me, the spirit of wisdom and revelation, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD; And give me quick understanding in the fear of the LORD: and Father let me not judge after the sight of my eyes, neither reprove after the hearing of my ears.  Father please take the coal and cleanse my lips so that no evil or corrupt communication will proceed from them, but that which it good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearer, set the captives free and glorify the Almighty Living God.

Heavenly Father, I pray now and throughout this day You would strengthen and enlighten me, and show me every way satan is hindering, tempting, lying and distorting the truth in my life.  And I pray and believe that You will enable me to be the kind of person that would please You.  I pray and believe that you will enable me to be aggressive in my prayer life and in my walk of faith.  I pray and believe that you will enable me to be aggressive mentally, so that I can study, meditate, write and practice Your Word, and to give You Your rightful place in my life.
Again, I cover myself with the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ and pray that You, blessed Holy Spirit, would bring all the work of the crucifixion, the resurrection, the glorification, and all the work of Pentecost into my life this day.  I surrender all that I am to You Lord, and I refuse to be in the name of Jesus Christ to listen to discouragement, doubt, and unbelief. Father, I will trust YOU LORD and not be afraid.  I will 'TRUST' You Lord every time doubt and unbelief come against me. I will yield myself to Your teachings so I will be able to experience 'TRUSTING' You completely! Thank You Father, for being my salvation, my strength, my hope for tomorrow, You Lord are my Jehovah Jireh. Father You have proven Your power by resurrecting Jesus Christ from the dead. Therefore I will praise you with much joy in my heart and shall draw water out of the wells of salvation. 
Father, I thank You for Your anointing being upon me, therefore I boldly confess that I shall LIVE AND NOT DIE. I will live to do the works of my Father, to heal the brokenhearted, to preach the gospel to the poor, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering the sight to those who are blind.  I will live to set at liberty them that are bruised and to tell the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I will live Lord to shout and claim the victory of the cross over all the satanic forces in my life.  Father, I will live Lord to praise your Holy Name! 

Father, I thank You for hearing my prayer, I thank You Jesus for interceding for me and taking my prayers before Your Father, I thank you for giving me the victory this day!   I lift up the name of Jesus, and I give you all the glory, all the honor and all the praise.  I thank You NOW LORD for my deliverance, and I will shout the victory now! For this is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and I will be glad.  I say Glory Hallelujah to Your Name for you are worthy to be praise! I speak forth, declare, and prophesy these things forth into my life in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. In Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.  


Time to Change my oppressive prayer into 'Righteous' praises!

"But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you"~  1 Peter 5:10

I hear the Chains Falling....

I'm sitting here worshiping you father and there is a song playing "Break every Chain...."... God and all I can see is Chains falling off of me God! Lord, thank you! You know more than anything that the release of bondage and stronghold is what I want more than anything.... Father! The is so much power in your name.... JESUS! JESUS! JESUS!

It's only by your power that I can be free from strongholds and the chains that enemy desires to keep my bound by! Thank you Lord

52 Weeks!

~ANYTHING that threatens the SEED of what God has planted within me has GOT TO GO!~

LUKE 21:19
"In Your Patience, possess ye your souls!"
"In your Patience, you shall preserve your soul"
"In your Patience, you will SAVE your soul"

   Lord! What can I say to a God who has been so Good to me! My words cannot even begin to explain the Joy that I feel! The satisfaction with you Alone! Father it has been One full year :) You have done so much. You have taught me so much. You have given me so much and you have withheld so much. Everything you have done, I stand here to say thank you! God have protected me from what I deserved and have preserved my life for what's yet to come! I owe you my entire world. My being. Every breath that I breathe. I honor you Jehovah for your strength. Love. Truth. Your endurance with me, when my face was not solely turned towards you! You satisfy every nerve in my body! 

  52 Weeks! 364 days. 8736 hours. 524160 minutes. 31449600 second.... every moment you covered me. Changed me. Planted that seed within me! Thank you 
  Surely I had times of discouragement. Times when my focus was not on you. Where I allowed myself to take you off of your throne, that I may slide on. There were times when I disobeyed and didn't listen to your voice as I should have. Times when I compromised. When I chose to put my temporary satisfaction over your permanent gratification. But there were also many times when you spoke and I listened. You waited and I stopped. You called and I answered. 
  Through this year, I have learned...
  • What TRUE intimacy looks like
  • Where to take my heart when it's broken! To the Healer
  • What relationships look like
  • What your word says regarding LIFE
  • How the OT and NT are Types and Shadows
  • What being Open and Vulnerable Look like
  • How preparation prevents a lot of future issues
  • What Truth is!
  • To never Compromise
  • Allow my yes' and No's to be just that
  • Stand my ground-Firm
  • But to Humble Myself
  • What Your view of Purity is!
  • To never want something more than I want you
  • To never Value people/relationships more than I value and Honor you
  • To see myself as you see me!
  • That I have not arrived!
  • I too need to accept encouragement and words
  • Talk everything through
  • Never miss my time with you!
  • Come to you instead of asking you to draw to me!
  • Secrets only bring discord
  • Stop thinking or caring what others think of me
NEW life Message!~
If God is for me Who could Ever stand against me?
Where to go from Here now?
  1.  Today I would like to ask Heather to be my Best Friend! Though it's already been established by you Lord, I want to share with her some of the things you have shown me!
  2. Begin Praying about what you would have me to start up next? For this next year!
  3. Commit to Prayer
  4. Continue with my pursuit of Purity! From GOMER to The Bride of Christ
My Promise to You- With your help and discernment I promise to never let anyone else or anything ever take my attention away from you! I will never again compromise my mind, body or soul! Please keep me accountable! Please cause my roots to Deepen in you and nothing else!

I love you Lord! Speak with you Soon!

Where I am..

      Is another dimension of Grace! Lord.... you have been so good to me, how could I not praise you! As I sit here in bed and watch a sermon from Jakes on Grace from the story of Hannah, I am reminded father of ALL the sustaining you have blessed me with. Lord, it makes no sense to me just how much you offer us... From sinner to saint (As you desire us to be) but then from Glory to Glory.

     Lord please make this message for me.... That everything you have for me, I would learn to give it back to you in greater ways! I am ready to move into my next Dimension of Grace! Have your way Lord :)

Continuing On!!!!

Book One: Every Woman's Battle
                  By: Shannon Ethridge

    It truly feels like a stepping stone to have finished my first book in the pursuit of purity! This book was absolutely amazing and has really caused me to think, act and desire new forms of integrity! Did you know the sexual and emotional purity are not just steps of abstaining from the act of Sexual intercourse... but it's a holistic act of desiring and following the Lords desire that we be emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually full of integrity to Him- Christ- as our first and true Love...

   Growing up, a lot of my promiscuous ways and sexual encounters were truly reactions of being emotionally damaged. Not understanding what true Love-Agape- appeared like and the disadvantage of not growing up with stable examples of what Godly character looked like. It wasn't until the age of 12, once I entered into foster care that I truly began to Hate the world that I lived in and everyone in it. Before the age of 12, being a child being tossed around, but never spoken to as a human being, life seemed normal. But once separate I began to see the imperfections of this life that we live in. I was a child who grew up feeling unloved, unworthy and unwelcome. I stopped talking and never truly dealt with the hard issues- until I accepted the Lord Jesus. It was then that He began to 'Peel back the layers' of my heart and show me where there needed to be forgiveness, repentance and trust.

   I didn't care for the things of my body. I didn't know that my body was the temple of God or that my purity was to be saved for Christ and my husband. I was upset and it seemed that my virginity was something that people wanted... At least they noticed me.... I constantly thought. After so many times, you forget how to feel, how to be satisfied. How to say no.

  I never knew that watching people having sex on the television or on the computer was wrong growing up, so I partook freely. Things that went into my eyegates and my eargates were the things that caused me to want to experience more. No provision allowed me the freedom and the enemy the freedom to nurture me with the sin of the world... and mentally I was filled with the garbage that the world has no problem with flaunting around.
  It wasn't until I was 16 when I finally gave heed, or opened my heart, to what the Lord had been trying to speak into my ears. But once He did my desires began to change and my voice of conscious became louder than ever as I became cognisant that the things that I had been doing were contrary to what Christ desired. Though I had slipped many times, and still continue to sin, God has never taken His hand off of me. HE has never let me go.

Living a life with the Lord at this very moment has been the most marvelous, incredible joy, that at what point I had not experienced. From a child who desired to be connected with people so bad that she retreated to sexual activity to a woman who desires more than anything to learn to be intimate with her King. Her Lord and Savior. Her Best Friend. Her Creator.... God has truly done an incredible work and I give Him ALL the glory and honor...

Completion of Book ONE!!!
Where do I go from here?
       I will continue forward daily giving to the Lord my thoughts, my emotions, my hormones, my prayer life, my fasting/worship life, my strengths and weaknesses. I am in no way naive to the thought that at any point I, as any of us, still have the power to SIN. I AM NOT PERFECT in no way and daily I have to mortify the deeds, the wants, the desires, of my flesh. Though my SPIRIT is saved, my flesh still has it's desires... but by the grace of God I am more than a conqueror...

WHAT does this take?
     Abstaining from conversations, relationships, entertainment that don't glorify Jesus Christ. Keeping myself pure, as the Bride of Christ, without spot or blemish. Not getting into emotional, physical or mental affairs with others, but daily being so filled with the Love of Jesus!!!!

DID I know that God is able to satisfy me in every way? 
    NO! But what I am finding is those times when I need to be delivered from hormones- which will come- the more I talk to Christ He causes them to decrease and my heart to fall more in love with Him. That's ALL He desires... Is that I refrain from finding sexual/mental and emotional pleasure in anything or anyone other than Him...
    And my answer to His request is YES! I choose to allow you to satisfy me! 

I thank you Lord for continuously falling in love with me! You love me like no other! I will be pure, in Jesus Name! The Victory is mine!

On to Book TWO!

CREATE IN ME A PURE HEART by Kathy Gallagher 

What I am learning..

Purity is a Process! And as soon as you begin it, that will be the test that will become your greatest trial!

Lord :) Whatever I must do to be prepared for your return I will do. Thank you for another chance! I CHOOSE to walk in VICTORY! 40 Day Challenge of walking upright

Guidelines to Regain Purity

  • Daily Commitment to the Lord
    • Offer Him my Body, Mind and Soul
  • Daily Repentance
  • Will not watch Television/Movies/Videos/Entertainment with any type of Sexual Inuendo or Porn (Open sex amongst 2 or more people)
  • Will keep my ears protected from Derogatory/Crude Jokes
  • Will Worship Daily
  • Will read my Devotional
  • Will meditate on Scripture
  • Will remain open with Accountability Partner
  • Will work out two times a week 
  • Daily Blogging
Lord, I commit these next 40 days to you! I believe my day of deliverance will be on November 27th, 2012!
Thank You Lord! I know that you are able to deliver me at this very moment, but I will honor your decision and work/pursue/chase after you in worship and in praise!

Do you Really?

The question the Lord asked me today was "Do you really want to be Pure again?"...

  • Then why do you watch impure things?
  • Why do you listen to impure words?
  • Why do you not fully give over your entire being to me?
Lord, I am sorry. I have no excuse. Last night I watched a movie that I thought would be OK  but obviously it was not. Please help me... I commit to continually pursue purity in you. I woke make a long term commitment but day to day I will crucify by flesh, die to myself and give over my entire being to you. I love you Lord. 


What Can I do?

What happens when a person constantly thinks about sinning against God? When the fear of it overtakes their life? When it becomes less of a conscious state and more of a paralyzing fear? I have come to this point... and I need help!

Lord, you know my heart... please help me. Lord to me how to Live by Grace.... For you didn't die for the perfect.. I am not perfect. Teach me to step daily in your love and forgiveness.. and If i do fall, you will pick me up!
"I have hidden your word in my heart that I may not sin against you"~ Psalm 119:11

I've learned..

    I've learned what it is :) You... my source, my head, my everything! While sitting here blogging and listening to some worship songs Lord you reminded me of something that was stated by someone yesterday. They related to their wait for you to return as their husband... that it's been so long.

    I am ready for you to return. Jesus, when I married you, I committed to spend eternity with you. During dry and wet season. Sickness and Health. Life and Death... As you committed to me, I exchanged that same vow with you. Lord, but you have been gone for so long. I am your Bride and I miss you. I need you gracious Father. I miss your touch. Your voice. Your scent. Your love. Jesus.... I miss you rubbing my back. Caressing my thoughts. Rocking me to sleep... The wait is so hard. If I could just see your face.

Lord, please begin to reveal yourself to me in ways of your choosing. Please leave me little love notes. Please romance me as you used to :)

I will wait :) I know that you are away at work right now, so I won' t be selfish :) There are bigger and more important things that need tending to, but whenever you can.... please stop by! I love you so much :) I have been thinking of you so much! Can't wait to be with you...

Forever yours,
Bride of Christ

My Struggles...

Lord, your mercy is good! I am so so so so so so so thankful to have you as my savior and Lord! Father, when I accepted you as my personal savior and began to serve you as my Lord I set up in my heart to never turn from you! I am committed to you! You are my number one love, before you and after you there is not other... I am here forever to stay!
     You have brought me through so much God! There are things that you have done, that have assured me that your strength is perfect. I consider everything that I have a blessing knowing that there are people who are without. For every tangible blessing, I praise you for.... but what I am more thankful for are the spiritual heights and deliverance's you are call me from and to...
    Lord! My desire is to walk in your blessings everyday, but there are still things that I am struggling with.
1. Lord, you have made me into the kind of person who knows what I want. I try to be a person who sways neither left nor right... but so often it is a weakness  It causes me to be a very PRIDEFUL person often. Lord.... please humble me Father.
2. Faithful father, there are certain areas in my life that I give to you and then reel back in.... In some of my relationships, though I see you working and moving, sometimes I tend to try and take control. Lord, I don't want to have anything that you do not have full control over. The biggest is relationships. Faithful father, you are in control :) I release my fingers, and my hands God.... I don't want to do any harm to what you are in the midst of molding. Have your way. Use me as your vessel. Please remain the center of everything that you have blessed me with.
3. Jesus... you have broken me many times before. You have taken me to a low and though this is crazy to ask for Lord, I am asking that you would just wreck my life. God..... I need an emotional stirring... I need and want to cling to you more than anything. Maybe that's what it is God... I just want to hug you. Lord I just need a hug father.

I believe I am getting tired of the day to day Christian education, wake up prayers, quiet times, repetitive acts... God I want to be intimate with you! Jesus, that's what I am needing right now. I just want to feel your love. Please hurry back... my husband. You have been gone way to long....

I can remember...

I can remember it as if it was just yesterday! October 30th, 2006. Acquire the Fire youth concert/conference... Lord you spoke!
         I can remember sitting there watching everyone else crying and lifting their hands :) The theme of the year was 'Who are you branded by?'... The question that didn't end with the answer God! For me Lord, i was but an orphan, in a foster home, wondering between hurt after hurt and all you said was 'Tish, i take in the orphan and care for the fatherless'...
        Lord, you knew just what to say then... and you haven't changed one bit! That same night you played a song called "Came to my Rescue". It was then God that you completely opened my heart and poured your very sacrificial love into the depths and cracks of the child that I was....I gave my life to you that night. You carried me down as a groom carries His bride. You bent with me as I fell to my knees. You cried with me as I released every bit of pain. You forgave me. CHRIST.... You forgave me. That's a debt I can never repay, but Lord 6 years later, you are my number one desire :)
      There has been times when I have forgotten to come to you, where I have chosen to do other things, where I have surely hurt you. Times when i'd fallen back into old sin, when I'd picked back up my dead mans clothes... times when I have thought that I had it all together only for you to allow me to fall back into pride, selfishness, and resentment. Lord, you have broken me over and over. You have drawn me closer to you, you have allowed me to choose. I fix my eyes on you. 6 years later... I am happy to say once more 'I DO'! I choose you all over again!
      Lord, you accept my imperfect ways, you know my inner thoughts and you have put up with me... Your LOVE is like no other! I will follow you Lord, even when I cannot feel your touch or hear your voice or sense your presence! Lord!!!!! GOD!!!! !Messiah! I am so happy to be yours and no longer a slave to sin! Thank you for deliverance! Thank you for unlimited chances... thank you for NEW LIFE and mercies everyday! Thank you for a past... yet a future with you! It was you GOD that filled the sporadic gaps within my heart! Thank you my Lord, my Father, my Best Friend! Thank you for coming to my Rescue!


I wait for you...

Lord :) You know what kind of day its been!

       Words can't even begin to explain just the distance I have felt from you today. The quiet moments when I expected you to speak.... the quietness and stillness and dryness and emptiness. Lord, something is missing. God, I have felt what it feels to be empty... to not have your Holy Ghost residing within me.... God... I am begging. On hands and knees.
       In no way do i feel you have left me :) I know you are still here/very present. But my soul is yearning to just feel your breath once again flow behind my ear. Jesus :) One thing I ask and this one thing I desire, that I may dwell in you house ALL the days of my life; to behold the beauty of your face.
And yet Lord... I will wait. As the Deer panteth for the water, so does my heart panteth after you :)

If I had to choose one thing that I disliked the most... it would be the highs and the lows in my relationship with you. Lord, why do we ever go through dry periods? Tired periods? Restless periods? Your Spirit never leaves us, so what in us draws us away? Is it the busyness of our days? Yes. Is it our internal thoughts? Yes. Is it us? Yes.... Forgive me Lord!

I Honor you Jesus! Please all the fullness of your spirit to be released within me! Shekinah Glory

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