Worship Means Everything!

When i was at the Honor Academy, during worship or fasting or prayer on wed., the worship band would sing a song titled "To worship you i Live(Away)", you should listen to it someday.

That sentence plays alot in why i'm writing this though... This past week, has been dry and hard for me. I would go into my prayer time, empty. I would ask the Lord to fill me, but then i would dry up. I went to church and after it was over, i felt worse than when i went in. Friends, i know many of you know that feeling, the one you can't shake off. But the thing that most of us are good at, is keeping on a good face, image ya know. But one thing i also know is that, when you find yourself in these times, don't give up. You must fight for your relationship with the Lord, because emotions will be decieving and the devil will surely tell you that you are not worthy of love, but i know the Lord says different all throughout his word!

So this morning, as i went into my quiet time, i turned on Israel & New Breed, i know many of you are familiar with them. My old roomate actually introduced me to them, and i have loved them every since. But anyhow, i layed on my couch, as if i were in a conseling session and i just listened.... Because we don't do enough of that... I listened, listened listened and listened. Then i heard the Lord say Ezekiel 16? I thought to myself, wow, this was the book i was looking for about two months ago, when i was describing to someone the story of Hosea, and how we leave God so many times, and don't truly go back for his love, his jewels, his garments.

So i read and read and read and i stopped at Ezekiel 16:14 "Because the splendor i had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the soverign Lord". It says in Psalms 139:14- 'I praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, i know that full well.' And it just keeps going on.Even after that in verse 15 it says "My frame was not hidden from you when i was made in the depths of the secret place, when i was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body...."

So when it comes to our heavenly father, the man who created us from nothing, who ordained our steps in the book of life before we even came to be(Psalm 139:16), nothing else matters. Not this world, the people, school, money, friendships(even though they are great to have), but nothing comes before our worship to our father.
There are two reasons why we praise our heavenly father with more than our mouths:
1. Because he is the man who came down to die on a cross for us so that all of our sins may be washed away. So that we could live a life without condemnation and so that we may have a chance to spend eternity with our creator... He loved us so much that he took the beatings of this world and traded it for beauty (John 15:13 'No greater love than he who lays down his life for his friend)
2.We praise God because he has given us everything. Life, Love and a hope. He has given us a harvest in which everyday he manifest his promises. He has given us all a second chance, and for that reason, i praise him. Because i realize, that once i was that Babe who was thrown out and was given everything, but then turned into a Harlot, i know where i was taken from, and once we realize that, it's so much easier to realize how powerful he is and just how much he loves us, for who we are!
And so, today, this morning at 7:00 am, the Lord has brought me back to the place of true worship, entering his gates with thanksgiving and praise and a humble and contrite heart. It's true love that always wins us back, everytime and once your back, it's like a new found life.

Ephesians 3:16-19"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with the power through his spirit in his inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And i pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints to grasp how wide, long, high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God"- Amen

Intamacy With God

Now with the Christmas season coming up, i have found myself... How would i say it? Preoccupied with other things. Christmas shopping, end of the year flu shots, family time, catching up with old friends and etc. But i have not really had much time to sit and have my one on one time with the Lord. And he hasn't failed to remind me. There are times when i lay my head down, when i have the sudden thought to go and get my bible or pray, little things like that... The voice of God. But i have been doing the thing that seems least work oriented.
Basically in a nut shell, i have been slipping and the Lord has stopped me once again. And its not that anything horrible has happened because everything great has been happening, esp. getting my first college report card. But because The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are an intimate entity, he has shown me where my heart was lying, in the world.
So, to move on, tonight i listened to an IHOP podcast titled "Intimacy with God". I just listened and listened and was very taken aback by many things, but the one thing that really made me sit in awe was a part that said "God desires to be intimate with us. That is why, when he made the heavens and the earth and the Land and the sea he made man, for fellowship. While man walked in the Garden of Eden, God came down and walked with him." From the one sentence, the Lord has shown me that he is not this guy in heaven who just loves me, but he is a man who desires to see me, speak to me, look at me. That God makes himself vulnerable with us humans because he wants to show us how he loves. Something else that was mentioned is that the whole story of the bible is "Pursuit of Man".
And so tonight my eyes have been truly opened to seeking one thing. And that doesn't mean to not hang out with my friends or family, but that means everything that i do, do it for the Lord. Also, to ask the Lord to fill me, so that i may seek him... Because, i as well as all of us, are a group of weak people and sometimes Quiet times will get boring and they won't always be the same... But there always great
Something i have to keep praying for is just wisdom and revelation in knowing God more, but man it's all going to be worth it! God is good, he truly is

MY TEXAS TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, i guess i haven't told you about it yet?

OK, i left on Thursday morning to the airport, Dec.10, and arrived into Dallas TX at around 2:30. There one of my amazing friends, named Stephanie, who i attended the HA, was waiting for me by the baggage claim. Now while on the plane i told myself i wouldn't scream and so i didn't, but i did you a very estranged Gallop thing!.... SO then we walked outside and up the side walk a bit and i saw my friend, who i am really close to Ana get out of the car and i screamed to the top of my lungs shook. We hugged and hugged and hugged, then we got on the road

After driving around for a while, we decided to stop at Chili's, my favorite restaurant, and get a late lunch. So we 3 sat and talked and just had a marvelous time.(Here's a quicky, so Stephanie and Ana were in the same core, but i knew Ana from work, we both called for the same team and also her and Steph lived right down the hall. We always hung out, literally). So after lunch we got back on the road, took tons of pics, stopped at a gas station in which we met a Napoleon man, who was very nice but also harassed Stephanie a bit...hahahhhahahaha

We got to the HA around seven thirty-ish. Walked around, they had already been there for a day, but i loved seeing the HA again, so many memories. We took tons of pics with other pictures and statues and just laughed so hard. Then i finally spotted my old Accountability Partner, Ashley, who i couldn't wait to see. And when we saw each other we just hugged and hugged and it was so beautiful. Ashley and i became accountability partners slightly because hers had left suddenly which left Ashley alone. So i asked her if i could have the pleasure of maybe being her AP even though i had already had one... But if you ask me, it was totally a Divine appointment thing. Ashley has been such an inspiration in my life and when i saw her, it was so apparent that the Lord was moving in every single bone in her body...

But back to the story. Actually before all this happened i went and visited my other old roommate Tabitha at her job and it was amazing. Tabitha and i were roommates, along with four other girls, but Tabitha and i never really got along. Or, it's not even that, i just didn't like certain things about Tabitha. And now i think about it, and i seriously don't know why. I regret that season of my life, because i spent half of my year turning down the opportunity of possibly meeting the best woman in the entire world. Tabitha is truly amazing, but i judged her and now, every opportunity i receive, i tell her that i love her and i am so blessed to have her as a friend, and i truly am.

OK, sorry, so Steph and Ana went to Core, which is like a room meeting, with Ashley and her girls and i just hung out in Tabs room. Afterwards, i went and hung out with the girls again and i got to just lay with Ashley and be with her.. we had a great talk...

So, i feel like this is going on and on and i really do love all the details, but i think i will just bullet point the rest :(

  • Got to hang out with a friend named Dustin who i used to work with at the HA and we had some amazing conversations

  • Slept with Tabitha, as in, i mean i got to lay in her bed with her, which was good. And not in a weird way, but Tabitha has always had that Motherly touch and so while sleeping whenever she would touch me i just felt so safe!!!!!!!!!!! And Loved

  • Felicia surprised everyone by coming down from Washington

  • Finally met up with Claudia.... She was so excited to see me. We had lunch together and we just talked and talked..... A major part that happened during our time together is that while she was eating, i was opening her medical bills, she turned to me, placed her hand on my calf and said "Tish, you will never know how much you have affected my life" then i said tell me. And she said " By the way you pursued us when you were ACA and how you cared for me when i was sick and just how you loved us"... Seriously, hearing that really just made my heart leap for joy.


Second semester at the honor academy, After Julia, i was elected Assistant Core Advisor (ACA), which is basically someone who lives in the room with the girls and just pursues them day and night, and prays for them and is kind of like the big sister... O and it was hard. Kylie, told me one day that she felt the Lord wanted me to do it, and i didn't wanna at first but then i said yes. So now i had to go from being the girl in the room who could really careless about going into major detail about certain peoples days, to the girl who actually had to listen and pray and cry and delve into the hearts of 5 other women. There were times when i felt like they hated me, when i felt like i was failing, when i felt unworthy of their trust. There were just alot of bad times and so when Claudia said this, it shocked me, but it played as closure. I will be writing separate posts on each girl soon

Back to the Bullet points

  • Got to go to Rockwell's

  • Also see many people who i haven't seen in a long time

  • Walmart trip (classic)

  • Spent time at Joe's house with some friends

  • Picked Mistletoe

  • Prayer Walks

  • Swing Dance :)

  • Ballroom Dance :(

  • Graduation( Got to see Claudia Graduate)

  • Gala

  • Got to hold hands with Tabs for about 9 miles(So we were in the car with some friends, tab driving and me in passenger seat and while everyone was carrying on a conversation in the back laughing it up, Tab and i were in the front just listening. The all of a sudden Tabitha looked at me and said "Do you want to hold hands?" So i stuck my hand out, placed it on the bottom and we just rested it on the Gear shift. Ya know what, it was great... I feel like I'm being so weird, but seriously, my pride and selfishness wouldn't have done this a year ago and so i feel like the Lord is giving me these opportunities to mend my relationship with her!)

  • 2 Starbucks stops(Double Chocolaty Chip Frappiccino)

  • Met Trish

  • Threw a surprise party for Claudia

  • Hung out with an old friend named Josh

  • The Lord blessed me in so many ways

  • Rode to the Airport with fee on Sunday morning

  • Will made me an amazing meal

  • Met Cody on the SOW Band, he's cool

  • Missed my plane out

  • Met and Ethiopian Woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Got home and told this same story to my father.

Seriously though, every night there was amazing.... I love the HA and every second there were people who kept saying to me" Tish you should come back for the January Ministry Team, and there have been so many times when i consider it, but i know what the Lord wants. He has called me to go out into the world, as a strong follower and shine as light to this fallen world. I mean it's great that there are people who decided to stay another year at the HA, but there has to be strong Christians out here as well. And so that is why the Lord has called me to be here during this season of life... but i am grateful. I will never forget this trip as long as i live. And now that i have the post, it's even better!!!!!!!!!! I love TX and the HA

Goodnight Lord

Selfishness and Greed.

I'm back!!!!!!!!!

It's been a few days...

I just had my quiet time and it was great. But sometimes i feel like, with my own quiet times, that what i do is really repetitive and list like. I listen to a song, read the word and have my structured prayer. The Lord always shows me something, and i think this is what it may be. First thing is:

That i am just going through the motions. For instance, i know i have to have a quiet time everyday, but i choose to do it at the end of the day... What if i switched it up. Did it as soon as i rolled over. See in my mind, it just says, 'Lord, i will get to you soon', when really it should be Lord, make i need you now! There are just so many convictions that i am going through right now and i need to change.

Jesus Christ, God, is my all. My everything, but i need to learn how to treat him like that. As if he were sitting next to me. When i went back to TX to see Claudia, My old roomie, graduate, i went to the Gazeebo, a place where i usually had my quiet times, and i just sat. I pulled my computer out and began listening to some worship music.... From there after worshipping i felt the Lord tell me to go on a walk with him and now looking back on it, when i attended the HA, he would always tell me to go on a walk with him.

So i strapped down my iPod, turned on the IHOP prayer room and i just prayed, i cried, i worshipped, i loved. In that moment i felt the Lord love me more than ever.

Now i feel sort of dead... No, i just feel like a "going through the motions" person.... With the Lord, everything should be new. Especially coming out of a quiet time.

Lord please forgive me... I have been taking everything about you for granted. I have forgotten to love you some days, i have forgotten to even acknowledge you others

Second thing is:

A while back i adopted a Child from Ethiopia, named, Kelbessa Gardissa. I have failed in taking care of God's Children, because i have not sent this child any support yet. I keep putting things in front of him, my own personal things, which is horrible...

Kelbessa i'm sorry. I was suppose to support you. Help you recieve an education and food, i have failed. I pray that you will show me grace. I have been very selfish and greedy. And that is what the Lord needed to show me

HAAAAAA, now that's out.

Lord, i thank you for speaking to me and giving me a heart that discerns it Lord. I thankyou for your grace to die on a cross for me even while i was still a sinner. Lord, i pray against my sinful nature and my greed, and i just pray that you would fill me Lord till i spill over. Lord i hunger and thirst for you, not this world, or the money you give me... I have fallen and i repent for allowing this money that i have been receiving to block my true image of you. Lord i love you and thankyou for giving me all of you and not just part.

My Encounter

Dec.13th, 2009..5:20 p.m

I went to go and get on my plane, but my ticket was turned away because of a gate change... I instantly began getting emotional. The Clerks told me that they would put me onto another airline.... As i walked away my tears began to drop. WHY? Because things weren't going as planned.
I felt as if this always happen to me. It was horrible.... I rode on a Skyline to another terminal, on which i met a man who spoke with me and told me that 'it happens'. Riding down the escalator to the new gate, my heart and spirit were just low. I couldn't shake it.
After getting my ticket, i noticed there was a starbucks and usually i don't drink there but today, after all the junk that was happening, i decided to. I needed something that could energize me and give me a little peice of joy.
So i went into Starbucks, and there was a lady who served me. Her name was very long and hard to pronounce. I asked her how it was said and she told me to try, which sort of made me chuckle. Then she said it and i was very surprised. This lady looked about mid 30's maybe even 40's, tan skinned, she wasn't from this country. I thought maybe Saudia Arabia or Egypt maybe. So we talked alittle, i told her about my plane change, i asked her suggestion on a drink and she said i was to young to be stressed. I laughed
After a second went by, i asked her "What ethnicity are you?" I don't usually do that with strangers, but i had to know.
Then She said "Ethiopian". My heart fell to the ground. If you know anything about me, then you would know, that i believe and have faith that the Lord has called me to Ethiopia Africa as a medical missionary. So when she said this, i just told her everything. I told her how the Lord has called me there and how she made my day and how i am very passionate about her culture. Then i asked her if she spoke Amharic and she laughed and said yes...i think she was surprised at how much i knew. Then i asked her if she could say something. She said "How are you" but she wrote it in her language which looked like a bunch of symbols. After that i paid and i told her that , i look forward to one day being in Ethiopia and telling this story
The Moral of this story, is that just in that perfect timing the Lord showed me and reminded me that there are people who have far more troubles than a canceled plane flight... There was a reason why the Lord had me miss that flight and the thought of that reasoning marvels me... because through all of my crying the Lord saw what the future held.
Proverbs 19;21 says "Many are the plans of a man's heart but the lords purpose always prevails"

Lord thankyou for being my father... Lord thankyou for opening my eyes to the truth. Even while i was selfish Lord you showed me your love and just how much it stretches. Jesus please teach me to be patient and not anxious. Lord you are so good

I will waste my life!!!!!!

I just saw this video and absolutely loved it... when i see things like this i am reminded that in the end, Jesus is who i cling to. Not a husband, mortgage or big time job, i don't want any of it, because the power of knowing Christ is worth acknowledging

It's going to be worth it!!!!

It's going to be all worth it.. The trials and tribulations.. That day when i get to meet my saviour. The very man who died on the cross for all of my sins. Every disgraceful act i have ever done, and will possibly ever do. It's going to be very worth it, that day where i can finally touch the face of my father.... the day where i can look in his eyes and see how he see's me. I'm desperate in seeking. Lord, bring it.. but the wait is worth it all, i believe it

All i need is you

Today was... a revelation filled day.

I awoke this morning late this morning, jumped up at 8:19 and rushed to my 8:30 class... no breakfast no shower, no good morning father, just went...While sitting in class the only thing that i could think about was car rental car rental car rental... I needed to call them. To ask more information.
See in the past weeks, i have been trying so hard to rent a car while i am down in TX for my trip. I have many friends down there, but i didn't want to bother them, that's the last thing that they needed. I was told no at first because i did not have a credit card, and so i applied everywhere and for anything. I exalted all my energy on that. After about 3 hours straight of searching and getting stressed out, my conscious began to bother me. The Lord was speaking to me, telling me that i was being very ungratelful and conforming to the world...
About 2 months ago, i began praying that the Lord would bless me with the opportunity of going to TX.. to attend my old roomate's(Claudia's) graduation. I began praying this 2 months ago. Within one month the lord provided me with $1200.00. More than was ever expected. And i rejoiced i praised him.. But now looking back on it, i think the praise dimmered down... Because i began wanting more and more, i wanted a car as well. .
And so every car rental has turned me down because of my lack of a credit card and every credit card company has turned me down because of my lack of credit history... Is this from the Lord?
Yes it is. This is from the Lord, and not because he hates me, but he wants to show me that i am a person who takes for granted after awhile of his precious tangible gifts. Which poses the question... Would i still love him if he never gave me anything?
I want to say yes, my lips say yes, and my heart says more than yes... Because the simple fact is " That God demonstrates his own love for us, that while we were yet still sinners, Christ died for us" That is the truth, and still because i am of human nature with a flesh that still sins, the Lord dies for me over and over again by forgiving me and calling him his own
Selfish motives and greed can get in the way of many of our lives, but instead of living it that filth give it to the lord... And i found myself doing that today. Getting on my knees and just repenting and praising Yahweh.

Dear Lord,
Jesus, we call on your name everyday Lord, that you may save us from our selfishness and greed. Lord, wash this flesh which wants to be disobedient and stubborn. Lord cleanse me with your grace Lord... Without you lord, i, we, are nothing but mere dirt. Lord you move my spirit and that is why everyday i can claim that you are real, and your grace is sufficient. Lord, i pray that you would continue to bless me with wisdom , understanding and revelation. Teach me to truly love like you lord(John 15:13). Teach me to only allow things that are fruitful to exit my mouth Lord(Ephesians 4:29)... Lord let me be a love of truth and action(1 John 3:18). Lord, i love you and it is only by grace that we are saved... I love you, and all of my hope is in you.. Take this life lord and mold it to be pure in your sight... My father my lover my friend. Goodnight

Old Friends!

Today was a great day. I awoke, attended church, we spoke about having a faith that s real. After church i went home and just hung out with my family, it was great. Anyhow, last night through a series of events, i found out that one of my very very good friends will actually be going down to Texas, which means that i will get to see her.

Her name is Ana, i call her Reiss-o-nator. We attended the Honor Academy together, we worked in the same place together, she was there for me through all my hard times, i love her to death, but the reason that i say this all is to say that she actually gave me a call and we spoke for about an hour.. it was great. Shes doing well by the way! But while we were talking, i realized that i am one of the most blessed people in the world, because i was given friends who love the Lord with all their heart.

So that was the first highlight of my day. Second was my brothers returning. My big brother Ron is 20 years old and him and my father actually went to Florida because my brother has major talent... He was asked to go and perform in front of a group of people who could possibly sign him over on their contract.(I would ask that you be in prayer for him, that he may possess a discerning heart).. But before he returned my big sister, Christina, and i ran to Dairy Queen and purchased a cake. When he returned, we surprised him with it and sang the congratulations song. But it was just really good having him back... Really good.

So now i am back in my room, just finished packing my bags for my trip to Texas, i am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See ya soon

Pondering momento !

Quick question to think about!
Is it possible to truly live a life of peace?

The Reason I live!

I only live for one reason, and one day i would love to share this with you face to face... but now that we are here and your eyes are attatched, let me say this... that i live only to serve Jesus Christ. There have been so many things that have tried to distract my attention, but the lord grace is to prevelant within my life.

I was just sitting here and thinking about 2 things.
1. All of the people who have ever attended the honor Academy, but have just recently left their faith. How can you devote your life to the lord for one year... with constant praise and worship and intercessory prayer and just walk away. I can't imagine myself ever without him, because without him there is no me. I am nothing but a broken vessel seeking a savior. And i just pray that those people, who are so loved by the lord, would just stop and count the cost.
2. All of the people who have heard the message of Jesus Christ. That Jesus was sent by God in human form as a babe to come as the messiah(saviour) and tell everyone of the good news. That Jesus Christ was flogged and beaten and cruxified on the cross.Only because he loved us so much that he was willing to die so that we may have everlasting life with God. Why did he have to die? Because we, as in you and i, were born into a sinful nature, and the only way to get to God was through a pure clean lamb, Jesus. After being laid in a tomb for three days, the Lord arose and was ascended into heaven to sit at the right hand of God. But the point of it all was that the Lord loved us so much that he thought we deserved a chance to live in heaven with him for eternity? Why would God feel we deserved this? Because he is a compassionate God. Isn't that enough? What much more proof do we need to see that he is giving us every opportunity to be saved. Do we recognize the consequence of not accepting Christ! HELL, the consequence is hell. "For the wages of sin is death, but the wages of righteousness is eternal life"(Romans) We must turn from our ways, but we are such a prideful people, that we don't want to stop the things that we are doing, and i was the worst. I love having fun, but when i realized that i was truly empty and that i was never going to fulfill myself through sex and lies, i cried out to him and he answered
So i say to you, as a friend. What's stopping you? The Lord has always been there, he is just waiting for you. I live to remind this world that "We have fallen short of the glory of God-Romans 3:23


Tonight i had the opportuniy of going and actually seeing some of my past. As a child that grew up in the system, it had it's up, but so many downs. It was hard many times... it truly was. But i have made it out. Only through grace was i saved and able to tell the story. If someone were to ask me what my overall experience was as a foster child... i tuly would say it was amazing and i would do it again in a second. Because through foster care, one, i accepted the Lord and 2 i made some of the most amazing friends.

Every year Berea hosts a christmas party for children in the system or aged out.I'd been going there all my life but tonight seemed different. With every encounter i made, i saw that person through someone elses eyes. I saw them as people that the Lord sent to me. and because i was so angry in the past, i wasn't able to truly value their friendship. Tonight i took that opportunity back... i smiled more, laughed more, talked more, even ate more. Tonight was amazing and i can truly say that i felt at home with these people... they were in deed my family.

P.S. You may never read this, but for everyone who works with Berea Childrens home, including Monica, Debby and Ebony, i truly want to thank you all. Because of you i am a person who finds joy in life, because of the time you chose to deliver on my behalf. You all have a very special place in my heart. And i love you all truly.

Bride of Christ
All I want to do, Is to fall into Your arms,
Where there is no more suffering,
And there is no more harm.
Looking down upon the world,
Through the starry sky above,
Surrounded by Your mercy,
And Your everlasting love.
Holding me and protecting me ,Mostly from myself
And from this temporary life, I have put upon a shelf.
I yearn for the time, When you will carry me
Across the pearly threshold, Into promised eternity.
As Your beautiful bride, I will then stand
Holding tightly onto, Your nail scarred hands.
Lifting my veil of sin, Never again to behold
Standing side by side, On the glorious streets of gold.
I will then serve You, With undying humility
No more to fall into, This plot of humanity.
Embraced with a love, So incredibly divine
No more tears, no pain, No more fear to find.
For in heaven Your glory, All we in Christ will share
Dressed in white, for purity, We will all then wear.
Together with all believers, We will finally end our flight,
Together in the richness of Heaven,
The bride's of Jesus Christ.

Maybe i should explain!

Maybe i should eplain to you why i chose to title this portion of my journaling 'Bride of Christ'.
For privacy reasons the names in this story have been changed :)

This past year i attended the Honor Academy. The Honor Academy is a one year internship where you have the opportunity,more like a blessing, of going and just dwelving into the spirit of God for a full year. Literally, everyday all day, it was an atmosphere of true love. I absolutely loved it. But after being there for a few days i met a woman named Felicia. Felicia was big into physical touch and lets say i was not. Before i had left home to move to TX, after many horrible encounters with the opposite sex, i decided, i never wanted to get married. HAHAHAHA.
I lived in a room with 5 other girls, and we all grew to be best friends, but that's another post. But felicia, was like our core mom... big sister like, mentor even. Felicia instilled many things within us, but there was one thing that stuck with us the most. 2 words-Devinely Designed. Devinely Designed was something that the lord gave her to share with us. In a nut shell, Devinely Designed is a woman who has a purpose in life. Who the Lord implanted in something so beautiful that it wasn't made for the lord. Felicia would speak with us about this once a week and after a while, we began seeing ourself as women who were devinely designed to fulfill a certain mission for God. Felicia graduated a few months after that.
Then we recieved a new big sister, mentor named Kylie... and it was hard, but just like before, i'll save that for a different post. But with Kylie, the Lord gave her something different. The word Unseen. In that time that we had with Kylie, the lord impressed upon us the true meaning of that simple word. Unseen represents the heart of a woman... As kylie would say, it's like a tree. When a tree is watered, it's roots suck up the fluid and do all the work, but no one see's that. Kylie would tell us that it is in those hard winter times, when the outside of the tree looks horrible that the inside, the heart/roots are doing the most work. Our core verse was Eph. 3:16-19. Before i truly didn't understand the magnitude of it, but now reading it i understand.
("And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowldge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.")
And that is what the Lord was trying to show me in that time of sending these incredible women into my life.... He was trying to show me that he wants one thing... He wants me to see him as a husband and not a master(In that day, you will no longer call me master, but you will call me husband. Hosea 2:16-18). That he wants all of my attention and affection. Because i am his bride!

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