My couch is currently supporting me and all that 2017 held. Coffee steaming with the waves of instrumental worship settling the atmosphere. The smell of breakfast blend serenading my home. White topped cars and lawns outside my window and my sweet cat resting on my leg... A picture perfect scene! I do love moments like this...
Yet this past year didn't quite feel like a picture perfect scene. Looking back at it now I can honestly say that it was more trying than any other. It held my heartbreak and grief, joys and celebrations than any other season of my life. But one thing that I can attest to... God was good! Honestly with no hesitation!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This past season in a nutshell:
Graduated from nursing college April 30th 2016
Two failed attempts with the NCLEX
Gram was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma November 2016 (A few months later we brought in home hospice for their home health services and overall care as Gram, through wisdom, decided to not undergo chemo. I honestly can't imagine what it would have been like if shed went through with treatment... we may not have had as many good days.)
Started working at Marc's
Chelley's Review course from February to June
Passed my NCLEX on the 4th attempt on June 19th
Gram birthday celebration on June 21st
Started working at WCH on July 10th
Moved out of grams to Wooster in September
Grams homegoing to be with Jesus December 2nd
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Looking at the timeline above makes that season look quite short... but I will be the first to say that every single day felt like a thousand. God was faithful in molding and providing for me physically, emotionally, mentally but most importantly spiritually. And while I could not see it then I see it crystal clear now that God's greatest gift to me during my past season was my grandmother. My sweet grandmother Lorene M Morris was every bit all that I strive to be. An incredible woman of God, a beautiful, loyal, submissive, strong and devoted wife. A mother, sister, cousin grandmother and great grandmother. In every way I was taught these past 12 years, but more so within this past year, how to be devoted to God first! How to wait on Him for direction and wisdom. To be patient always and give God the glory regardless. And in times when I'm down she'd always remind me to sing songs of praise, because it was hymnals that helped her make it through.
The other day Mr. Kent said that it I was the reason gram was left down here for 2 extra years following grandpa Morris' homegoing... and to this all I can say is thank you Lord! I miss her daily, Lord knows I do... but those lessons that she taught me from how to prepare a home for guests, to praying for others and studying God's Words, will never be lost. I still have my days when I'm not so sure how to move forward but then I am reminded by God's special nudge that He has never left me nor forsaken.... that He is faithful to lead me as father! So... one day at a time! Though there won't be anymore sweet moments of scripture time, back rubs, laughs during the night or joking, I know that my God will continue to fill in those areas of void.
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I've been living in Wooster Ohio for about 3 months now... the dream and calling finally came to fruition. But not quite in the way that I thought it would be? I love my job and the many nurses I get to serve next to! Some closer than others :) But... within these few months I haven't really been able to find my footing, where I fit in. I don't know many people here in Wooster unfortunately, so that leaves me at home with my sweet cat sage quite a bit. It does get lonely I must admit. The Lord has brought 2 good friends my way which has been a blessing. The one that I work with is who I tend to hang out with more often which is and has been a blessing. So.... my prayer is that the Lord would do what only He can... help me to reach out/receive those that He has created me to journey with!
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Lastly, what I sense God calling me to! From a very young age I knew that I wanted to be a 'baby doctor' and while I'm sure it was to help the babies when they leave their mothers womb, I honestly think even then it was to be the support system for the woman as she transitioned into this new role. As I grew older it was very evident that the Lord had placed women's health on my heart and mind. I was passionate then and even more so now to see women reach their full potential with holistic wellness. Our bodies, as women, are so unique and complex! The way that God had to diversify the strands of our DNA to give us the ability to bring forth life is just incredible to me! But it doesn't just start when we get pregnant... it actually starts the moment we take our first breath! Consider this... a woman is at a much higher risk for reproductive cancer simply because of the unique way we are created. Cleanliness and preventative care for the woman can not only save her but can also influence generations to come! Great example would be the tampon use in our society. Well known complications include UTI's, toxic shock syndrome, PID and even cervical cancer. But if a young girl is never told this, nor ever taught the proper way to decrease chances of complications then in fact she will either become infertile or die as a result. In no way am I trying to be morbid rather we need more women's health practitioners who have a holistic heart!
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*A little insert here: I've also over this past year or so been able to really see why satan has tried so often to destroy me as a woman. My past history with sexual immorality, impure tendencies, self gratification and pornography at one point caused me to totally push away friendships with other women due to the thought of falling away from God again. Even just speaking of purity, when I'd lost mine at the age of 11, I use to think 'how could I ever speak with another woman about abstinence when I no longer was a virgin? Or how could I clearly get the message across regarding our worth as women when I'd given away, what felt like, all that I was worth to countless men and women. I use to think that if I were to share the message of Agape Love and Saving ourselves for marriage that people would see me as a hypocrite... but the reality is, this message God has called me to share is His message! From His words and not my own :)
So what I am learning to do,when my hormones may rage, when impure thoughts cross my mind, when unGodly urges creep in... I pray! Plead with God to remove the hand of the enemy and to fight my battles! I do this first and foremost for Jesus... I take salvation very seriously and my desire is to be Holy as He is Holy. I do it because I love Him and His death on the cross for me has delivered me from unGodliness! From Sin :) He who the son sets free is free indeed (John 8:36) I want to be free to love and worship God! Second reason is this... I plead the blood of Jesus over any stronghold that would stand against me and what God has called me to! I do it for the sweet women who struggle with their own purity! If I can be an example of Victory then it makes all the difference to me! Satan cannot and will not have the calling that God has placed over Otisha Germany! In Jesus name!
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Yet within the past year God has given me a passionate/convicted heart about women's health within the church; women's ministry! I believe in my heart and know that God has called me to be a minister of the gospel to the women within the Body of Christ. I experienced quite a confirmation as I sat in a Bible Study and found myself surrounded around sweet women who loved Jesus more than anything but didn't quite have a hunger to go Deeper into the Word of God. Who were content with just talking around the Bible... about very applicable things none the less, but didn't possess the hunger to study scripture alone. My heart broke for them and for the church as a whole. So many of us women have a surface level, are milk drinkers still because we've fallen use to our husbands scriptural strength. And while that's so wonderful to have a husband who is strong and solid in the Word, who leads in truth and conviction, we too need to be nourished and strengthened. Where does it begin? I've grown so tired of hearing others profess the gospel and just ingesting.... I want to give it back as the Lord leads!
Yet within the past year God has given me a passionate/convicted heart about women's health within the church; women's ministry! I believe in my heart and know that God has called me to be a minister of the gospel to the women within the Body of Christ. I experienced quite a confirmation as I sat in a Bible Study and found myself surrounded around sweet women who loved Jesus more than anything but didn't quite have a hunger to go Deeper into the Word of God. Who were content with just talking around the Bible... about very applicable things none the less, but didn't possess the hunger to study scripture alone. My heart broke for them and for the church as a whole. So many of us women have a surface level, are milk drinkers still because we've fallen use to our husbands scriptural strength. And while that's so wonderful to have a husband who is strong and solid in the Word, who leads in truth and conviction, we too need to be nourished and strengthened. Where does it begin? I've grown so tired of hearing others profess the gospel and just ingesting.... I want to give it back as the Lord leads!
So right now I am actively praying that the Lord would send me someone who is actively in the ministry, teaching and partaking in raising Godly women up for the Kingdom of God! Teaching us how to understand scripture, to rightly divide God's Word as well as how to use it in our homes and our World today.
God's timing! Gods peace!
So... this upcoming years Word is..... Preparation!
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."- Ephesians 2:10
God is preparing me for what's already been prepared! Excited to walk in them :)
See you soon 2018!
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