Stomach ache....

I want to stay close to you.. it's really that simple. Just to love you  my Lord.... with the days , hours and seconds that hold my every breath...
Every now and then I get these stomach aches. Where my abdomen begins to cramp, pressure pushes down and all within me stops. I can't focus on anything but that indescribable ache. The day seems like walking through a dimply lit tunnel where everyone passing has a cloud of light. These aches aren't like the ones you get when you eat something 'not so kosher'... but the ones you get when your body tries to expel something. It hit me... right during chapel service today. Right in the midst of an amazing speaker and some wonderful time of worship. Everything within me said 'No,,,, I can't get up and go to the bathroom.' After what felt like 20 minutes of this repetitive declaration, I began to ask the Lord to heal me. To remove the urge for the remainder of service. I would sit back in my chair, it would get worse. I would sit up... and the pressure will settle intermittently. Then we stood to worship... and a sudden weakness and need to vomit came like a blow right after another. I couldn't resist any longer.
Stress was expelled. So often during the beginning of things I find that I place a lot of stress on myself. And in particular, the stress and strain of school. One part of me can't wait until the summer. Yet the other part of me knows that I can't keep this mentality. As I opened my test grade, with hopes of passing my maternity exam with greater than 76%, I see that once again I have failed. It stood right in front of me once again... 74%. I have been here too many times that I wish. And I'm not quire sure why. To be quite honest. I put the study time in, I know the information. I know there is a reason. Last class, I found out that that reason was that I might trust Christ more with all things. I don't want this class to turn out the same way, where during the last 2 weeks I stand before God begging for mercy. It shouldn't be a once and done thing.
Today, I choose to praise God even now! I choose to give Him all things because He is God and whether I pass or fail, He is sovereign. These past 6 years of college have been a time of amazement in God! I am amazed of what He has done... I have no regrets. Though there were times when Christ could have pulled me out and said 'I'm changing your calling my daughter... you can't be used here.'... But He didn't. He has allowed me to come this far! And by His grace...... I am not alone! I am a student nurse who, by God's Grace will pass Maternity and prepare for my senior year!
Now time to start my Care Plan! Stomach ache and stress, I rebuke you in Jesus Name! Peace is my covering :)

1 comments:

Heather said...

Healing in Jesus name!! But His stripes you are healed!! The enemy is defeated & victory is won!!! Praying for & with you sis! Love you!

Post a Comment

 

Design in CSS by TemplateWorld and sponsored by SmashingMagazine
Blogger Template created by Deluxe Templates