True Beauty....

It all began last night... as the insecurities of True Beauty began to surface and boil over above my head. Who am I as a woman? I'm simple. Reserved. Passionate. Intentional. A lover of  love. Cautious yet willing. But one thing i've never felt was a type of beauty unannounced to my soul... A comfortable beauty.

I loved my sweat pants. My beanie hats.... but I loved them because they were comfortable! But the thought that I could be both comfortable and cute... hmmmm. As Willie and I spoke last night and he listed the many qualities he desires within a wife... a silently checked off the countless bulletin points until I got to this one: "I want my wife to know how to dress in and out of the house". This one hit me harder than I thought it would. And it touched a place that i've never opened up before. For the proceeding hours I struggled as I didn't think I was worthy enough to ever be considered someone he found attracted. But then I began to ask myself if I liked myself. My outer beauty. The way I dress. And I honestly had to answer no. I didn't like how I dressed like a boy. Baggy sweats and sweat shirts... I am a woman of God! Meant to not portray the worlds beauty but eve's beauty. Proverbs 31 beauty. My Saviors beauty.

After my wonderful, sweet and patient Best friend shared with me what God had placed on her heart, about not changing for anyone... I made the decision to change for me. I want to be beautiful outwardly.... for Otisha :) So this morning I awoke, and worked out a bit.. which always starts my day off well. Then showered and fixed my hair to my perfection... I dressed :) And when I say I dressed.... I mean I really dressed! Lathered with Paris Night lotion, fastened everything and stared myself in the mirror :) I saw me and all the beauty God so wonderfully detailed within each and every surface inch of Otisha. Lastly.... I pulled my late grandmothers necklace out... the gold one with the heart and I placed it around my neck. And it was complete :)

To my reader please hear this truth. It wasn't the clothing, the smell good lotion, the hair, nor the smell good lotion.... it was a new set of eyes :) God has granted me with his eyes! And as I walked out into the snow covered world, now seen as my runway.... I had a new confidence. Of course this confidence was enhanced with compliments :) But this word from the Lord made me stop and think....
As I stood in the bagel line, just doing my regular day to day toasting, a girl named Emily turned to me and said "You look beautiful"... and in my humble way I lifted my head and said "Thank you.... so do you" But she stopped me and said "No! You are beautiful. I believe that's the first thing I ever said to you :) You have such a natural beauty".... My jaw practically dropped as I heard the whispering of Christ in my ear telling me to listen my dear child! You are simply born with a natural beauty..... But I marvel so much in knowing that who they see is not brown skinned brow eyed Otisha..... They see Jesus :) His humility. His natural beauty :) His smile. His love!
  So I sit here and right this to simply release these words to every woman who will listen. It was never about the clothing. The make-up. The jewelry. It's always about the one the dwells within the depth of you. It's about the one who brings beauty from the inward parts of every man and woman. Accept this truth today! Not from me :) Never from me! But from the one who died to give you the beauty we all so desperately desire... His beauty :)
You are beautiful!

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

- Proverbs 31:30-