Crave!!!

My accountability partner and I have been doing a devotional called CRAVE, which deals with food addictions and etc :) It's absolutely amazing, but lately I haven't been receiving much help/wisdom from them.... well, because I don't have an addiction to food. But as she and I sat after reading the devotional today, I got to share with her about me not feeling very helped by her words... and she said "Well, we have to come to the understanding of what it is that we crave more than God"...

     BAM! That was definitely the Lord. And He has revealed it to me. Truthfully, i'd wished it wasn't this that I struggle with but it is, and that's control. I still very much so have an issue, a struggle with trying to have everything perfect, doing everything perfect, trying to be perfect... Lord thank you for sharing this with me.

    One of the hardest things for me to accept is that this problem is very real... but sometimes God has to tell it to us straight. So....
    Lord! I know you are able to deliver me from this sin immediately, but I thank you for the process of teaching me slowly! God, I surrender everything. I will not control my relationship with you or with anyone else. I am not perfect, will never be... but I am your child :) Forgive me.

Sincerely,
Soon to be ex-controller!

Christ says....

I am the GOAL of your Searching!

My New Prayer...

Father, my new prayer is that every single thought that I think, from the littlest to the biggest, that you would give me the meaning of it and the ability to understand how to change it! So often, my thoughts are selfish, temporary and emotional.... teach me how to think on those things that are pure and holy, righteous and of good virtue! Teach me how to see my brothers and sisters as you see them! We are all walking on the same path of redemption before you! Lord, I want to be an encouragement but so often I am stuck on self.... what I want. Forgive me Jesus, for I have wasted a lot of time. I will let you heal and deliver me and I, with your gracious help, choose to be a servant to your children.

I love you Jesus,
Bond-servant of the Body of Christ

Thoughts Thoughts Thoughts....

Its all about the processes of the mind! As man thinketh in His heart, so is HE!~ Proverbs 23:7

    This morning the Lord has impressed upon me the power of thoughts and where they generate from! Thoughts which also have life and death within them are so able to transform a person. To deliver a person from their past to their future. Thoughts bring hope and freedom! Strength and Peace! Thoughts are what God uses as well as satan.
   When someone messes with our minds, they mess with our most precious treasure! and that is why satan is so out to destroy our inner thoughts. Our mindsets.
   satan. the accuser of the brethren is not out to play a one time game of accusation, he is set on killing us spiritually and physically.
    Bishop TD Jakes posed a question. Unlike the martyrs in the bible and throughout history, we don't know persecution in America. We don't have the honor here in this free land to be sawed in half or crucified upside down for the sake of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And because of that, satan knows the one way that he is able to kill us.... and it's an underground plan.... to trap us, kidnap us, enslave us to the orifice of our mind. If he can get our minds, he can surely kills us. Take away our very spirits of joy, love and peace.
    This is hitting home with me because after going a month or so without any impure thoughts, I had a dream last night that was nothing but sin. And Father i do repent, but I remember waking up and thinking "But Lord, I have been purifying my mind and my heart before you..." and instead of feeling condemned, I was happy when the Lord said "my child, keep guarding your heart and your mind"! Yes Lord I will!
   I have learned to not get bogged down, discouraged and brokenhearted when satan influences certain thoughts to cross my mind, because I know he will. He wants me to fall. He wants me to die. He wants me to turn my attention from Christ and wallow in my own mess.... but thanks be to God who has promised to cleanse me from ALL unrighteousness! I am Purified by His Holy Ghost and I no longer live but Christ lives in me!

   He that is in Christ Jesus is a new creature, the old has gone, a new has come!

2 Corinthians 5:17

There it is!!!

Emotional Breakthrough part 1:

     While sitting in class journaling the Lord began to reveal to me my life story! The past story of trials and tribulations, blessings and favor, health and protection! The story of a little girl who was forced to go to counseling, only to never receive the benefit of healthy coping strategies.
      I remember once having a foster father who would continuously say to me "Tish, you have to learn to be open to receiving help! You have to learn how to emotionally connect with people. How to not put up a wall. How to emotionally feel again."
      God, you are revealing to me that now is the time dust the cobwebs off of my heart. To no longer hide behind the weakness of being everyone's listener. I am ready Lord!
      So... I have applied for Good Wholesome Christian counseling! God is able to deliver people immediately, but sometimes He calls us to be proactive and to reach out for help! Your will be done Lord! I am ready to be a Spiritual Being with an emotional soul :)

I love you!
Your workmanship




* I saw this picture and thought "WOW! Sometimes we all just need a good cry."

What a Day!

Today was a harder day :) Started off with me not doing so well on a test... Why? Because I didn't study as well as I should have. I didn't put in the effort... because in my own pride, I thought I would be able to use common sense to select the right answer. Not so.

I also was a bit discouraged after choir. I am not able to sing like a lot of the other women. I have not been given that blessing of having a voice that can steal the audience and some. And it's ok! God has gifted me in other areas! But I have a solo :) Lord, for your glory

The plus to this whole day is that I was able to begin to study the book of acts! 5 verses a day!
    Luke right to Theolpilus (Lover of God) and reminds Him/reassures Him of the work Christ did while on earth, post-ressurection and while He is in Heaven. Christ, while eating with the apostles, told them not to leave until the Holy Spirit, which was promised, descended down to fill them. Then they could go out to accomplish the Lords will in spreading the great news of Christ.
    This 'Holy Spirit' Christ was speaking about can do all things, but in this context, was going to be sent back down to sanctify them and to allow them to heal and deliver the world unto Christ!
How does this relate to me?
    All throughout my day, walking bout discouraged, I didn't have the power to encourage my own self/ Even when I prayed it felt nothing changes. But just as Christ told the apostles to wait, so He has told us... to wait for our comforter! Thank you Jesus!

I will wait! I love you! You will come :) Tomorrow is a NEW DAY! Hallelujah

Revelation!

Lord, as I was finishing up the last post, I feel very strongly that you dropped something in my spirit! So often I plead and beg for your forgiveness... and I beg more and beg more and more! Then I rebuke satan over and over and over... then settle with a little bit of peace. Only to return to this same process 30 minutes later :) But what I just heard you say, and speak through a picture was to "Forgive Myself"... wow!

   Lord, thank you for your forgiveness and I too forgive myself! I will stand up now knowing that I have received the full forgiveness that I need to walk forward and move higher in you!