Continuing On!!!!

Book One: Every Woman's Battle
                  By: Shannon Ethridge

    It truly feels like a stepping stone to have finished my first book in the pursuit of purity! This book was absolutely amazing and has really caused me to think, act and desire new forms of integrity! Did you know the sexual and emotional purity are not just steps of abstaining from the act of Sexual intercourse... but it's a holistic act of desiring and following the Lords desire that we be emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually full of integrity to Him- Christ- as our first and true Love...

Emotionally
   Growing up, a lot of my promiscuous ways and sexual encounters were truly reactions of being emotionally damaged. Not understanding what true Love-Agape- appeared like and the disadvantage of not growing up with stable examples of what Godly character looked like. It wasn't until the age of 12, once I entered into foster care that I truly began to Hate the world that I lived in and everyone in it. Before the age of 12, being a child being tossed around, but never spoken to as a human being, life seemed normal. But once separate I began to see the imperfections of this life that we live in. I was a child who grew up feeling unloved, unworthy and unwelcome. I stopped talking and never truly dealt with the hard issues- until I accepted the Lord Jesus. It was then that He began to 'Peel back the layers' of my heart and show me where there needed to be forgiveness, repentance and trust.

Physically/Sexually
   I didn't care for the things of my body. I didn't know that my body was the temple of God or that my purity was to be saved for Christ and my husband. I was upset and it seemed that my virginity was something that people wanted... At least they noticed me.... I constantly thought. After so many times, you forget how to feel, how to be satisfied. How to say no.

Mentally
  I never knew that watching people having sex on the television or on the computer was wrong growing up, so I partook freely. Things that went into my eyegates and my eargates were the things that caused me to want to experience more. No provision allowed me the freedom and the enemy the freedom to nurture me with the sin of the world... and mentally I was filled with the garbage that the world has no problem with flaunting around.
Spiritually
  It wasn't until I was 16 when I finally gave heed, or opened my heart, to what the Lord had been trying to speak into my ears. But once He did my desires began to change and my voice of conscious became louder than ever as I became cognisant that the things that I had been doing were contrary to what Christ desired. Though I had slipped many times, and still continue to sin, God has never taken His hand off of me. HE has never let me go.

PRESENT DAY

Living a life with the Lord at this very moment has been the most marvelous, incredible joy, that at what point I had not experienced. From a child who desired to be connected with people so bad that she retreated to sexual activity to a woman who desires more than anything to learn to be intimate with her King. Her Lord and Savior. Her Best Friend. Her Creator.... God has truly done an incredible work and I give Him ALL the glory and honor...

Completion of Book ONE!!!

Where do I go from here?

       I will continue forward daily giving to the Lord my thoughts, my emotions, my hormones, my prayer life, my fasting/worship life, my strengths and weaknesses. I am in no way naive to the thought that at any point I, as any of us, still have the power to SIN. I AM NOT PERFECT in no way and daily I have to mortify the deeds, the wants, the desires, of my flesh. Though my SPIRIT is saved, my flesh still has it's desires... but by the grace of God I am more than a conqueror...

WHAT does this take?

     Abstaining from conversations, relationships, entertainment that don't glorify Jesus Christ. Keeping myself pure, as the Bride of Christ, without spot or blemish. Not getting into emotional, physical or mental affairs with others, but daily being so filled with the Love of Jesus!!!!

DID I know that God is able to satisfy me in every way? 

    NO! But what I am finding is those times when I need to be delivered from hormones- which will come- the more I talk to Christ He causes them to decrease and my heart to fall more in love with Him. That's ALL He desires... Is that I refrain from finding sexual/mental and emotional pleasure in anything or anyone other than Him...

    And my answer to His request is YES! I choose to allow you to satisfy me! 

I thank you Lord for continuously falling in love with me! You love me like no other! I will be pure, in Jesus Name! The Victory is mine!

On to Book TWO!

CREATE IN ME A PURE HEART by Kathy Gallagher 

What I am learning..

Purity is a Process! And as soon as you begin it, that will be the test that will become your greatest trial!

Lord :) Whatever I must do to be prepared for your return I will do. Thank you for another chance! I CHOOSE to walk in VICTORY! 40 Day Challenge of walking upright

Guidelines to Regain Purity

• Daily Commitment to the Lord
• Offer Him my Body, Mind and Soul
• Daily Repentance
• Will not watch Television/Movies/Videos/Entertainment with any type of Sexual Inuendo or Porn (Open sex amongst 2 or more people)
• Will keep my ears protected from Derogatory/Crude Jokes
• Will Worship Daily
• Will read my Devotional
• Will meditate on Scripture
• Will remain open with Accountability Partner
• Will work out two times a week 
• Daily Blogging

Lord, I commit these next 40 days to you! I believe my day of deliverance will be on November 27th, 2012!

Thank You Lord! I know that you are able to deliver me at this very moment, but I will honor your decision and work/pursue/chase after you in worship and in praise!

Do you Really?

The question the Lord asked me today was "Do you really want to be Pure again?"...

• Then why do you watch impure things?
• Why do you listen to impure words?
• Why do you not fully give over your entire being to me?

Lord, I am sorry. I have no excuse. Last night I watched a movie that I thought would be OK  but obviously it was not. Please help me... I commit to continually pursue purity in you. I woke make a long term commitment but day to day I will crucify by flesh, die to myself and give over my entire being to you. I love you Lord. 

Sincerely,

Gomer

What Can I do?

What happens when a person constantly thinks about sinning against God? When the fear of it overtakes their life? When it becomes less of a conscious state and more of a paralyzing fear? I have come to this point... and I need help!

Lord, you know my heart... please help me. Lord to me how to Live by Grace.... For you didn't die for the perfect.. I am not perfect. Teach me to step daily in your love and forgiveness.. and If i do fall, you will pick me up!

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I may not sin against you"~ Psalm 119:11

I've learned..

Lord...
    I've learned what it is :) You... my source, my head, my everything! While sitting here blogging and listening to some worship songs Lord you reminded me of something that was stated by someone yesterday. They related to their wait for you to return as their husband... that it's been so long.

God,
    I am ready for you to return. Jesus, when I married you, I committed to spend eternity with you. During dry and wet season. Sickness and Health. Life and Death... As you committed to me, I exchanged that same vow with you. Lord, but you have been gone for so long. I am your Bride and I miss you. I need you gracious Father. I miss your touch. Your voice. Your scent. Your love. Jesus.... I miss you rubbing my back. Caressing my thoughts. Rocking me to sleep... The wait is so hard. If I could just see your face.

Lord, please begin to reveal yourself to me in ways of your choosing. Please leave me little love notes. Please romance me as you used to :)

I will wait :) I know that you are away at work right now, so I won' t be selfish :) There are bigger and more important things that need tending to, but whenever you can.... please stop by! I love you so much :) I have been thinking of you so much! Can't wait to be with you...

Forever yours,
Bride of Christ

My Struggles...

Lord, your mercy is good! I am so so so so so so so thankful to have you as my savior and Lord! Father, when I accepted you as my personal savior and began to serve you as my Lord I set up in my heart to never turn from you! I am committed to you! You are my number one love, before you and after you there is not other... I am here forever to stay!
     You have brought me through so much God! There are things that you have done, that have assured me that your strength is perfect. I consider everything that I have a blessing knowing that there are people who are without. For every tangible blessing, I praise you for.... but what I am more thankful for are the spiritual heights and deliverance's you are call me from and to...
    Lord! My desire is to walk in your blessings everyday, but there are still things that I am struggling with.
1. Lord, you have made me into the kind of person who knows what I want. I try to be a person who sways neither left nor right... but so often it is a weakness  It causes me to be a very PRIDEFUL person often. Lord.... please humble me Father.
2. Faithful father, there are certain areas in my life that I give to you and then reel back in.... In some of my relationships, though I see you working and moving, sometimes I tend to try and take control. Lord, I don't want to have anything that you do not have full control over. The biggest is relationships. Faithful father, you are in control :) I release my fingers, and my hands God.... I don't want to do any harm to what you are in the midst of molding. Have your way. Use me as your vessel. Please remain the center of everything that you have blessed me with.
3. Jesus... you have broken me many times before. You have taken me to a low and though this is crazy to ask for Lord, I am asking that you would just wreck my life. God..... I need an emotional stirring... I need and want to cling to you more than anything. Maybe that's what it is God... I just want to hug you. Lord I just need a hug father.

I believe I am getting tired of the day to day Christian education, wake up prayers, quiet times, repetitive acts... God I want to be intimate with you! Jesus, that's what I am needing right now. I just want to feel your love. Please hurry back... my husband. You have been gone way to long....

I can remember...

I can remember it as if it was just yesterday! October 30th, 2006. Acquire the Fire youth concert/conference... Lord you spoke!
         I can remember sitting there watching everyone else crying and lifting their hands :) The theme of the year was 'Who are you branded by?'... The question that didn't end with the answer God! For me Lord, i was but an orphan, in a foster home, wondering between hurt after hurt and all you said was 'Tish, i take in the orphan and care for the fatherless'...
        Lord, you knew just what to say then... and you haven't changed one bit! That same night you played a song called "Came to my Rescue". It was then God that you completely opened my heart and poured your very sacrificial love into the depths and cracks of the child that I was....I gave my life to you that night. You carried me down as a groom carries His bride. You bent with me as I fell to my knees. You cried with me as I released every bit of pain. You forgave me. CHRIST.... You forgave me. That's a debt I can never repay, but Lord 6 years later, you are my number one desire :)
      There has been times when I have forgotten to come to you, where I have chosen to do other things, where I have surely hurt you. Times when i'd fallen back into old sin, when I'd picked back up my dead mans clothes... times when I have thought that I had it all together only for you to allow me to fall back into pride, selfishness, and resentment. Lord, you have broken me over and over. You have drawn me closer to you, you have allowed me to choose. I fix my eyes on you. 6 years later... I am happy to say once more 'I DO'! I choose you all over again!
      Lord, you accept my imperfect ways, you know my inner thoughts and you have put up with me... Your LOVE is like no other! I will follow you Lord, even when I cannot feel your touch or hear your voice or sense your presence! Lord!!!!! GOD!!!! !Messiah! I am so happy to be yours and no longer a slave to sin! Thank you for deliverance! Thank you for unlimited chances... thank you for NEW LIFE and mercies everyday! Thank you for a past... yet a future with you! It was you GOD that filled the sporadic gaps within my heart! Thank you my Lord, my Father, my Best Friend! Thank you for coming to my Rescue!

YOU ARE MY SOURCE OF LIFE!