Relentless..

       I've been sitting here for the past few minute.... in a posture of reminiscence. How to put down the words that are knocking against the circular axis of my skull I have no clue.... I know I just miss the season I was in. In particular, I miss my year spent at the Honor Academy. What I year :) I still remember it like it was yesterday.... the smell of the TX air. The sweet fragrance of morning and night worship. The hours of fasting as a community for the expectation of hearing the voice of the Lord. The lessons on Faith. Integrity. Humility. The wonderful days of learning how to be a woman... but not just any woman, but one that longed for her husband. The king of the world. The ability to have platonic friendships with a man and not think of them as more--- but even when I did, it was the spirit of God within them that spurned on the attraction. The ability to encourage, confront, enjoy, delight in, discern, meditate, prayer-walk, worship in the woods, sleep in the sound quiet of God's nature. The ability to just be in LOVE with God.

I miss it more than anything this very moment :) But it was just for a season... and Lord I thank you so much for that season.

       Now, what seems like 5 seasons later, I am quietly yet boastfully appreciating your many lessons you are teaching me. This is a season of listening to your voice and being obedient. At the Honor Academy you allowed us to all go through a time of preparation. A time of seclusion, separation from the world that we could be transformed.... to continue to be transformed. Lord, these seasons seem a bit more intimidating now that I am in them, but I know I will be able to look back one day and marvel at the wonderful seasons you have caused me to journey through.

My prayer Lord is that in these seasons, I would grow to relentlessly pursue you. To chase after you more than life itself. Help me to appreciate every moment.... especially the ones I don't understand. My desire still remains the same, but I believe is more passionate now than then... I want to know you. I want to love you and I want to do your will. It's the gospel that I want to share. It's your love that I want to radiate. It's your peace that I want to overtake me. It's your salvation that I want all people to receive. If you can use me Lord.... please use me. I'm no longer that 18 year old girl learning how to worship this man who died for me... I'm a 23 year old woman longing to worship you through my life. Longing to be with you. Longing to see you bring ALL things into the light. I am a woman who is waiting for her groom :) But I will continue to wait.... as any good bride should know, when guests are coming home, we must prepare the house! That's what we have been called to do! Prepare your people.... And you shall show mercy and save!

I love you with every inch, fiber, neuron in my being,
With Love,
Your relentless servant