My Heart....

My heart is breaking within me... Only God can truly see. I'm saddened regarding the particular day that I live in. The society that surrounds me is obsessed with sex. Every place I look either has an obvious subliminal message or people having sex spread out on my computer screen...

    I just wanted to watch a wholesome movie. One without cursing, derogatory joking, sexual depictions and the such of evil... but as I scrolled down the screen, one pornography movie, turned into 3, which turned into all of my options having visual naked people fornicating. Lord, how can a young person live Holy in this world? I'm disgusted, i'm devastated and i'm nervous for my own spirit man. I don't want to fall back into the world of temporary pleasures. And I don't want my hormones to be aroused by mistake....
 
   I know in no way have a sinned, but my prayer God is that you would remove the images from my psyche that the enemy is trying to ingrain. Before i closed out of the youtube site, the top boldly announced LGBT pride. PRIDE? You think you are happy? Lesbians and Gays.... you will never know true satisfaction until you have an encounter... an intimate encounter with the God who created you! And that has nothing to do with sex. Which you use as a form of pleasure.

  I am a new creature in Christ Jesus! Called to be pure in my soul, spirit and flesh! I declare and decree that I no longer am a child who runs after the sins of the flesh; for I try to flee. God gave me a new name... He has robed me with the garment of righteousness! And I will not sadden my Everything to dwell on nothing!

Sincerely,
Purity

Sometimes....

I wonder to myself, why does God give second chances?

Then I'm reminded of His love :) His Grace and compassion :) His unrelenting desire to know me :)

I'm especially in a thankful mood as I speak to my best friend! I'm reminded that all of Gods gifts are just that : a present! Something I don't deserve! I never expected in all of my life to have a man love me quite the way my Father does. To have a family that encourages and to have a Best Friend who seeks to love The Lord as much and/or more! To God  be the glory.... Now and always :)

      Father :) I know you never look at my past as examples of condemnation, so I thank you for that gift! But looking back has served as a sense of encouragement.... knowing that I come from mess and you have redeemed this child.... for your great gain! However you can use me, please use me :)

Bold Declaration!

I trust God :)
       I yielded my heart to The Lord on October 30 2006 and began to walk with Him August 15 2008! He strengthened me and gave me an intimate relationship with Him on June 27 2010! I know I love The Lord and nothing can separate me from the Love of God! Not satan, nor myself!
       He purchased me at a price! I am His child.... Because of His death. By no doing of my own!
      He opened the doors countless times for me to serve in other countries! No matter the motive, people came into an everlasting relationship with Christ Jesus! By and in His wisdom, He has opened up doors for me to speak and proclaim His truth! I have been given these gifts by God to be used for God! These are facts :)
I struggle with...
       Discouragement. Easily offended. Allowing love to be an emotion while forgetting that its first a Decision! Being overly critical! Listening to others voices sometimes over Gods. Forgetting to walk in Grace :) being afraid of being refined at the fear that it just may kill me. Trusting God fully. Considering my greatest friendship just that.... My greatest friendship. My place in the Body of Christ! Being a witness in Patience. Putting on a good face! Waxing the mask to tailor just one emotion- HAPPY! When in all reality... I'm lying to them and me!
       There's so much more :) God only knows every bit and piece of character flaw I possess. Yet His love is unconditional :) I don't understand it. But I need.... Like my very next breath.... I need Him!
Sincerely,
A frightened child reassuring that the lies of the enemy are just that! LIES!
See :) I know what it is :)
         When I came to God! I never came broken!I knew I needed a savior.... To save me from hell and to teach me how to be a "better" person! But I never gave Him the opportunity to break me....Into All the small pieces that depict just how wicked and frail I am :)
Wow! Thank you Holy Ghost! I couldn't have figured that out on my own!!!! Wow :)
Even So Lord.... BREAK ME! No matter how much I cry.... Break me so that you may mend me!

Hosea 6:1- 

"Come let us return to the Lord: He has torn 'me' to pieces but He will heal 'me'; He has injured 'me' but He will bind 'my' wounds"