Even so... It Is Well With My Soul! Lord, please continue to be the pilot, the ruler, the director of my Life! Every part I give to you :) Forever! It is well with my soul !
What a Year....
Wow.. I am actually sitting only a few hours away from finishing up my Spring semester... It's absolutely humbling to think about All the things you have done.
The hard times:
---Academics truly became my walk of faith. Even as I lie here reminiscing, I am in the midst of finals week. One remaining: The one that will cause me to go further in nursing or hold me back for another year. God... Am I able to say that it's terrifying. It's hard to be in this place.... but it has caused me to intentionally stop and keep my eyes on you.
---Relationships: Father, you have given me the Best Friend in the entire world. You have blessed me with a sister, accountability partner, a confidante, and a person in whom I have been able to share this wonderful life with! But we have had some rough times this year... Character building times. You have taught us the value of communicating. The gift of honesty. You have taught me to listen and to be gentle. But Lord, I sense that there is another work at play. Sometimes when I am with Heather, there tends to be an aura of sadness, or hopelessness that overcomes me? And every time she asks me 'If I'm OK"... it only causes me to want to find something wrong? Does that make sense :) Can you help me understand why I do this Lord? Why my heart becomes downcast? I will yet praise you for remaining our center.
You have given me my sister back :) Though we don't talk everyday, the times that we do have been so good for my heart and I believe for hers. Thank you God for caring about my family. Thank you for not leaving us.
---Spiritual: Lord.. hmmm. I love you so much Lord, but I have failed to meet with you daily. I have settled with living off of previous mountain experiences. Jesus... I need you more than I need anything. You are the center of my joy and If I could just learn to walk in faith.. why can't I get it Lord? Bur I know that I Need to keep my eyes on you. Please give me the measure of faith today that you know I will need!
I want to repent:
For selfishness
For Lack of Faith
For a Judgmental spirit
My hard times have been difficulty, but my Good Times:
---- Celebrated my 23rd birthday and my Best Friend threw me a beautiful gathering at Ruby Tuesdays
----- You have given me my sister back :) Though we don't talk everyday, the times that we do have been so good for my heart and I believe for hers. Thank you God for caring about my family. Thank you for not leaving us.
---- Through your favor, I was able to purchase a car. White 2007 Ford Focus. I'm so undeserving, but I do accept!
----- My Uncle was released from prison... I have been able to fellowship with him! Thank you father!
----- Was accepted to work at UH this summer, as well as with the Outreach ministry with AFT
----- Got to attend Region 5 in Chicago and was able to bring Heather!
----- Mission trip to Florida
God there truly is so much! The good outweigh the struggles, but I know the latter must occur for maturity! I continuously accept, as long as you allow me to squeeze closer to you when I fear!
Thank you for keeping me from the hands of the enemy. For the things seen and unseen :) Thank you for loving me in spite of all the things confusing about me! For you know me better than I know myself! Hallelujah! My heart is encouraged :)
The hard times:---Academics truly became my walk of faith. Even as I lie here reminiscing, I am in the midst of finals week. One remaining: The one that will cause me to go further in nursing or hold me back for another year. God... Am I able to say that it's terrifying. It's hard to be in this place.... but it has caused me to intentionally stop and keep my eyes on you.
---Relationships: Father, you have given me the Best Friend in the entire world. You have blessed me with a sister, accountability partner, a confidante, and a person in whom I have been able to share this wonderful life with! But we have had some rough times this year... Character building times. You have taught us the value of communicating. The gift of honesty. You have taught me to listen and to be gentle. But Lord, I sense that there is another work at play. Sometimes when I am with Heather, there tends to be an aura of sadness, or hopelessness that overcomes me? And every time she asks me 'If I'm OK"... it only causes me to want to find something wrong? Does that make sense :) Can you help me understand why I do this Lord? Why my heart becomes downcast? I will yet praise you for remaining our center.
You have given me my sister back :) Though we don't talk everyday, the times that we do have been so good for my heart and I believe for hers. Thank you God for caring about my family. Thank you for not leaving us.
---Spiritual: Lord.. hmmm. I love you so much Lord, but I have failed to meet with you daily. I have settled with living off of previous mountain experiences. Jesus... I need you more than I need anything. You are the center of my joy and If I could just learn to walk in faith.. why can't I get it Lord? Bur I know that I Need to keep my eyes on you. Please give me the measure of faith today that you know I will need!
I want to repent:
For selfishness
For Lack of Faith
For a Judgmental spirit
My hard times have been difficulty, but my Good Times:
---- Celebrated my 23rd birthday and my Best Friend threw me a beautiful gathering at Ruby Tuesdays
----- You have given me my sister back :) Though we don't talk everyday, the times that we do have been so good for my heart and I believe for hers. Thank you God for caring about my family. Thank you for not leaving us.
---- Through your favor, I was able to purchase a car. White 2007 Ford Focus. I'm so undeserving, but I do accept!
----- My Uncle was released from prison... I have been able to fellowship with him! Thank you father!
----- Was accepted to work at UH this summer, as well as with the Outreach ministry with AFT
----- Got to attend Region 5 in Chicago and was able to bring Heather!
----- Mission trip to Florida
God there truly is so much! The good outweigh the struggles, but I know the latter must occur for maturity! I continuously accept, as long as you allow me to squeeze closer to you when I fear!
Thank you for keeping me from the hands of the enemy. For the things seen and unseen :) Thank you for loving me in spite of all the things confusing about me! For you know me better than I know myself! Hallelujah! My heart is encouraged :)
I'm not in control!~
I'm not in control! There are things that I cannot control.... Lord help me. I am struggling! Please continue to teach me to keep my eyes on you! This is your path and not my own.... FAITH FAITH FAITH! I can do all things through you who strengthens me!
Grace and Love to All people: Even homosexuals
So it's come down to this! I'm more ashamed to share of this than anything else. It's been a total 180.
Lord, I don't know where prejudices come from. I don't know where the stem of distaste originates from.... But I can see the process.
Since you have saved me, began your work of sanctification and totally revealed to me truth, I have noticed that I am prejudice, discriminatory, down right turned off by homosexuality and everything dealing with it. It's truly become a downward spiral of changes that I have experienced.
When I was in the world, I absolutely loved the sin. When you saved me, I feared to be around people still practicing homosexuality. Being saved and in love with you for nearly 5 yrs, I hate it! Why? Because its so much against you God.
Well, many people can say a sin is a sin! And I absolutely agree, but when you've practiced and dabbled in a particular sin before, God favors you by showing you how much that PARTICULAR sin He dislikes. I am not turned off by drunks. Heathens. Drug-attics. Heterosexual- sexual impurity and etc. Homosexuality on the other hand is the sin of compromise. People become home sexual because of hurts, traumas (molestation,rape), no father or mother and the such. People turn to the same sex because they are usually looking for a good feeling. To be loved. The psychological implications of this sexual fling are absolutely jaw dropping. And real to that person! But what it represent is a bounce of hurt and broken people not understanding that their not created that way, and deliverance is possible.
God! Please help me. I want to see every person as you do! Your creation. We all were lost at some point.... And God stepped in as He promised He would. What makes me thrilled though is hearing the testimony of those who have heeded His call and turned away with the help of Christ!
So my prayer is this :) that in my everyday life and as a soon to be nurse, that I may learn to interact and enjoy my time with people who are struggling with the sin of homosexuality. Because they too need the Love of God which I was so fortunate to receive! Grace and love is what I want to learn to extend! In Jesus name :)
Lord, I don't know where prejudices come from. I don't know where the stem of distaste originates from.... But I can see the process.
Since you have saved me, began your work of sanctification and totally revealed to me truth, I have noticed that I am prejudice, discriminatory, down right turned off by homosexuality and everything dealing with it. It's truly become a downward spiral of changes that I have experienced.
When I was in the world, I absolutely loved the sin. When you saved me, I feared to be around people still practicing homosexuality. Being saved and in love with you for nearly 5 yrs, I hate it! Why? Because its so much against you God.
Well, many people can say a sin is a sin! And I absolutely agree, but when you've practiced and dabbled in a particular sin before, God favors you by showing you how much that PARTICULAR sin He dislikes. I am not turned off by drunks. Heathens. Drug-attics. Heterosexual- sexual impurity and etc. Homosexuality on the other hand is the sin of compromise. People become home sexual because of hurts, traumas (molestation,rape), no father or mother and the such. People turn to the same sex because they are usually looking for a good feeling. To be loved. The psychological implications of this sexual fling are absolutely jaw dropping. And real to that person! But what it represent is a bounce of hurt and broken people not understanding that their not created that way, and deliverance is possible.
God! Please help me. I want to see every person as you do! Your creation. We all were lost at some point.... And God stepped in as He promised He would. What makes me thrilled though is hearing the testimony of those who have heeded His call and turned away with the help of Christ!
So my prayer is this :) that in my everyday life and as a soon to be nurse, that I may learn to interact and enjoy my time with people who are struggling with the sin of homosexuality. Because they too need the Love of God which I was so fortunate to receive! Grace and love is what I want to learn to extend! In Jesus name :)
I've been thinking!!!!
Do you ever stop to think of all the failed tests that led to life learned lessons? A deeper passionate walk with your Savior Jesus Christ? Freedom in Him!!!! A new name? A testimony! A Second chance? I too have been thinking :)
I'm trying....
I am trying so hard not to hate myself right now but after seeing that number on the scale I feel defeated :( Lord, this is your temple and I have failed you. Forgive. Lord it's so hard to make exercise apart of my weekly routine, or even to make quick meals healthy. I truly just want to lift my hands up and say forget it .... But there's that small peace of me that feels obligated to care for your design. Lord, I'm stuck. I need your help. I can't do this alone :( I just can't make it.
Father, I don't want to carry this insecurity around all today and so I commit once again to turning it over to you. Somehow, some way, I will get to the weight room today. Lord I need motivation! Please help ! I'm begging of you.
I love you and I want to be ready for when you come. Mind, Body and Soul!
Father, I don't want to carry this insecurity around all today and so I commit once again to turning it over to you. Somehow, some way, I will get to the weight room today. Lord I need motivation! Please help ! I'm begging of you.
I love you and I want to be ready for when you come. Mind, Body and Soul!